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May 5, 2006
What is a Friend?
By Preston in Quixtar
Recently, I've had to call into question what a friend is. Eric's recent display that Dean Kosage has become a "friend" with him on Myspace is a good example of why we need to ask this question. Dictionary.com offers the following definition:
friend n.
- A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
- A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
- A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
- One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
- Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
In the case of Quixtar, a person is engaged in friendship with other IBOs. They're allied in the struggle to "go Diamond" and stay "fired up!" But what happens to these friends once that relationship ends when one of them leaves the business?
I've had the unfortunate experience to have a friend of mine, from before my involvement in Quixtar, turn away from my friendship and get frustrated because I still call him my friend, yet I am openly against Quixtar. Can't people who have different political views be friends? Why is this different for Quixtar IBOs? Dare I say I think his system embedded that idea into him?
Comments
The word "friend" is comparable to the word "love" -- as it relates to topic at hand.
For example, there are languages that have several different words that describe the many different forms of "love."
I am no linguist, by a long shot. However, the break-down of human communication through using the English Language, is a subject that I have been paying attention to more lately.
CULT LIKE ASPECTS?
This is the 'Cult' like aspects of this business. There is so MUCH reinforcing of beliefs, LOYALTY, and promoting of relationships (i.e 'Family' Reunions), that when you make a decision to quit, sometimes the decision is based on a change in BELIEF or Idealogy, NOT just a 'business' decision.
IF the one staying, is heavily indoctrinated, then the relationship IS strained due to differences in IDEALOGY & BELIEFS. THAT IS 'Cult' like.
A simple 'business' decision to quit, won't strain the relationship as much as a change in BELIEF or Idealogy....
Who says Preston despises the business. He is simply against the practices, much like he could be agains the politics of the Democratic or Republican party as in his example.
You bring up a poor example Brad with sports teams, school and college friends and dare I say it sounds like "tapespeak" to me. You have given a perfect example of this kind of thinking. You assume Preston despises Quixtar, when you and I know being against it is not the same as despising it.
That seems to be the status quo with some IBOs however, they like to blow the situation up into something more then it is. My guess is it comes from the teachings which harbor resentment for anyone not in the system. Of course I was in BWW as well Brad and heard this teaching from stage, so don't pull the "not my upline" rebuttal.
You're right Drew, i'm not 100% certain Preston dispises the business. My thoughts, however, are of my own design from being around this forum. If they match tape speak, it is coincedence in this case.
I do not deny that it is taught on many CDs to avoid negative, and speakers give examples of how they did not associate with other people because they were "negative". If you feel this is equivilant to "telling them" to not see friends, or further you think this is "forcing" to not see friends anymore, that is your opinion, and i disagree.
But the situation i see here is Preston's "friend" has decided to dedicate himself to a goal or path he sees of value. Because Preston is openly against this choice, what common ground do they walk together? How are they, anymore: "A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade." I think blame is quite misplaced by Preston to say the "system teaches this" when it was life choices on both parties that seperates them. Preston's friend must be ok with it, he didn't post here... does that play into this situation at all?
Brad, what about #1? If someone knows, likes, and trusts someone before Quixtar, why would they suddenly lose whatever common ground they had afterwards?
If you're basing a friendship on anything, it's not a real friendship IMHO. It should be an unconditional friendship. Also, you know what they say with friendship and business- they don't mix. So, if you have friends that leave you because of this business they weren't really you're friend to begin with. Keep it on the professional level and you won't get screwed. Sorry to be blunt, but I am just speaking from experience.
Friends who have different political views can absolutely remain friends. But if I owned a business, and a "friend" was actively trying to damage that business, well their behaviour is more like an enemy than a friend. Preston, you do more than disagree with your "friend" - your internet activity is actively trying to damage his business. What kind of friend is that?
Insider,
So Preston has a blog simply to destroy his friends business? Is he not allowed the freedom to speak openly about the experience he has had and the things that he feels are wrong?
Has Preston posted specifically about his friends business? What makes him all of the sudden an enemy, when all he is doing is telling the truth about what went on during his time in WWDB?
Preston has posted broadly about quixtar. He has rarely specified particular IBOs. Never anything i've read like "IBOs except my friend".
He's more than free to give his experiences and opinions. But if by doing so he was knowingly and actively doing damage to his friends business, I think it's a bit much to expect them to remain friends.
A friend tells the truth. A friend does not hide the tool profits. A friend discloses how much money is made via A/Q products versus the system (books, tapes/CD's and functions). The lying cowardly "kingpins" are therefore NOT your friend.
Tex,
You seem to have a great deal of pent up anger. Did you have a truly negative experience with Quixtar? If so, that really is too bad. It's probably due to one or two people behaving inappropriately, not due to the entire "system".
By the way, do you have PROOF that the so-called "kingpins" (and just who are these guys, anyway?)are making 2/3 to 9/10 (from another one of your quotes) of their income from the "system"??? Or are you expressing your OPINION based upon your own PERSONAL EXPERIENCE???
I'm really curious. Because we see several diamonds in our state on a regular basis - in fact one just called us on our way home (from a family event) last night. If this is true, I'd like him and his wife to tell us that.
Do they make money from the system? Of course! And why shouldn't they? They're the ones who are putting in their time & effort to put on the meetings, make the cd's & videos, create the marketing materials. I can't believe all the websites & all the time being wasted & all the "hoopla" over people having a revenue stream from the marketing system.
The "top" diamonds in the organization CREATE their own marketing & support infrastructure & materials. Are you suggesting that they should do that for FREE? In fact, the same stream of revenue is available for anyone who works to a certain level. Period.
What's so difficult about this concept?
Anyway Tex, good luck with the pent up anger & managing your obsession with the "kingpins".
Tex,
You seem to have a great deal of pent up anger. Did you have a truly negative experience with Quixtar? If so, that really is too bad. It's probably due to one or two people behaving inappropriately, not due to the entire "system".
By the way, do you have PROOF that the so-called "kingpins" (and just who are these guys, anyway?)are making 2/3 to 9/10 (from another one of your quotes) of their income from the "system"??? Or are you expressing your OPINION based upon your own PERSONAL EXPERIENCE???
I'm really curious. Because we see several diamonds in our state on a regular basis - in fact one just called us on our way home (from a family event) last night. If this is true, I'd like him and his wife to tell us that.
Do they make money from the system? Of course! And why shouldn't they? They're the ones who are putting in their time & effort to put on the meetings, make the cd's & videos, create the marketing materials. I can't believe all the websites & all the time being wasted & all the "hoopla" over people having a revenue stream from the marketing system.
The "top" diamonds in the organization CREATE their own marketing & support infrastructure & materials. Are you suggesting that they should do that for FREE? In fact, the same stream of revenue is available for anyone who works to a certain level. Period.
What's so difficult about this concept?
Anyway Tex, good luck with the pent up anger & managing your obsession with the "kingpins".
Sally, I think we all know by now that the leaders in this business make huge amounts of money off of tools. It is the fact that very few IBOs disclose this fact when they are pimping a prospect. Not many prospects are ever given a straight answer when a question come up about who makes money from tapes and meetings and such. One of the reasons I got out is a prospect asked me early on and when I asked my upline they couldn't even give me a straight answer.
Yeah, I think it stinks that a few "fanatics" are being secretive & deceptive, making the journey much more difficult for the rest of us.
There's nothing to hide. It's a very straightforward opportunity.
I couldn't even read through all of the responses before writing a response here. I was a "victim", if you can call it that, of the MDI/Yager system, and my upline Silver actually led me to a relationship with Christ. (If that doesn't mess with your head I don't know what will...). Anyway, that same guy who I had such a connection with (nothing other than friendship -- he was 27 and I was 40 and married with a newborn)-- ended abruptly when I stopped participating in the business. Correction: not the business, the SYSTEM. I remember it well. We were on the phone after my last-ever open meeting (didn't know that at the time) and I said to him, "So, you can't help me, and Scott Michael has just said he WON'T help me, so I guess I'm done."
We hung up and I've never spoken to him again. And I've been trying to get over the guilt and shame I feel about my stupidity in being involved in such a scam ever since. That was almost two years ago.
Run away from this business when you encounter it. While there are a very few "normal" people involved selling product and treating it as a retail business, the overwhelming majority are involved in cult and don't even know it.
Once again Christy, you're just another ex-IBO with a negative experience. Why does that give you the right to bash the entire business??? Shame on you!
We all have 24 hours in a day. It would behoove my husband and me to use our business hours to work with a downline who is working their business. In whatever fashion. I must say the MOST of our downline are not fully "on the tools", as you say, but each are working it in their own way. We work with every single one.
The main things we expect from others are: honesty, integrity & accounability. These things are VERY hard to come by in people these days. So, we value them when we encounter them.
Please stop generalizing. You should get online and bash (if you really have to bash) your former upline. Not the entire organization.
Sally, the thing is though...JoeBlowPlatinum was taught by SuperDuperUplineDiamond to do those things. Typically in most situations your sponsor and a few levels above you are good people - but the higher you go, the more you encounter the (rotten) fruit on the tree.
Lets not forget that this business opportunity that we speak of is a people business. Any person from any walk of life can walk in and join quixtar and wwdb. How each individuals chooses to run his or her business is up to them. Granted if there sponsors are teaching them bad practices then thats their fault. But no one out there judges every teacher because one of them decided to molest one of there students. In direct response to the blog I feel that that friend may have some character flaws if he chooses to take the organization so seriously that he changes his association with someone else because of there opinion. I certainly know for a fact that these practices are not taught in wwdb or quixtar by any means. It is absurd to believe that the ideology of one can be in direct correlation of many.
What happened to all the "friends" on your die-hard sports teams? High school? college? what if you added that you then dispised that which your friends decided to keep doing, on top of leaving? Pretty tough to expect them to keep cheerie about the friendship, IMO.
And i do not condone friendships based solely on business involvement. I am friends with people inside and outside the business.
Posted by: Brad | May 5, 2006 1:27 PM