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December 16, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 42
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: I absolutely LOVE Ageless Xtra and I want
to join up with Oasis. What do I need to do?
Answer: What's with all the Oasis LifeSciences questions? Sheesh. Do you have
$1,285 handy?
Q: I think so. I'll check with my wife but I think I
can spare that for this business.
A: Great. There are cheaper options but I think the $1,285 sign up package is
what everyone recommends. And of course you've quit at least two other Multi-Level
Marketing businesses in the past 15 years right?
Q: What? No. What are you talking about?
A: Oasis doesn't allow anyone to join unless they've quit at least two other
MLMs. Didn't you know that?
Q: No I didn't know that. That's absurd! Are you sure
about that?
A: Absolutely. Marshall Douglas. Al Keranen. Bo Short. Ty Tribble. The list
goes on and on.
Q: What about Joe Land?
A: He's a special case because he also ran his own tool business for a few years.
Q: Hmmm. Well I sent off one of those chain letters
in grade school and my sister was in Avon for a few years. Does that count?
A: No, I'm afraid not. Sorry.
Q: Damn. Well, I can at least be a customer and buy
the Ageless Xtra right?
A: Only if you can answer positively to the following question: Do you believe
that Ponce de Leon was really looking for the fountain of youth?
Q: Sure, I guess.
A: Ok, you can be a customer.
Q: My upline can kick your upline's butt!
A: This is the Help Desk™, we don't have uplines here.
Q: Oh. Well he could still kick your butt.
A: That's nice to know. Why the hostility.
Q: I'm just sick of the other kids always putting down
Quixtar and saying it's a baby business. It's not a baby business. It's the
greatest business in the world and great people like my upline are building
it every day.
A: Baby business? What kids? How old are you?
Q: Nine.
A: Ok. Don't you mean your parent's upline?
Q: No, my parents won't join. I'm talking about my
upline.
A: Aren't you a little young to be an IBO?
Q: My upline says I'm showing great potential. I just
give him half my allowance each week and I get an IBOAI coloring book, some
"Freedom" trading cards and XS Cherry Blast.
A: Is your upline in BWW?
Q: Yeah.
A: Figures.
Q: Did you go to Achievers in Dallas?
A: No. We weren't invited and most of us at the Help Desk™ are a little
miffed.
Q: Well, I just got back and it was a blast. Sorry you
missed it.
A: We made our own fun up here at the Help Desk™ headquarters.
Q: What did you do?
A: We played Kingpin Charades. Acted out different Quixtar Kingpins
and tried to guess which one it was.
Q: That sounds like a lot of fun.
A: It was. And it's really fun after downing a couple of bottles of
Goldschlager.
Comments
Oasis Bashing will get you nowhere. It just makes you look bad. Sell your product, let Oasis sell theirs. It will all workout in the end. Oasis has great products!
Oasis Bashing will get you nowhere. It just makes you look bad. Sell your product, let Oasis sell theirs. It will all workout in the end. Oasis has great products!
I don't think Bo Short and Co. got the "don't bash" memo. Ty Tribble especially seems quite content bashing Quixtar and Monavie.
Kingpin Charades, huh? Maybe some of us SHOULD get a life...
lol
PW
Posted by: PW | December 17, 2005 4:43 PM