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December 9, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 41
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: Do you know how totally freakin' pumped up
I am right now?
Answer: Uh, no. Did you just work out or something?
Q: No man. I mean pumped up for this business. I'm absolutely
on fire right now. I'm going Diamond in like three months. I'm FIRED UP!
A: Right...
Q: I just showed the plan five times last night. Five
damn times in one night. I did it four times the night before. I'll be platinum
by Christmas baby.
A: That's nice.
Q: What? You don't believe me? You doubt my skills?
I got the fever man and ain't no stopping me. I listen to more CDs in one day
than probably anyone else on the planet. I'm the Rocky Balboa of Quixtar!
A: Yeah. I believe you. That's great. How can I help you?
Q: Help me? Help me? I should be helping YOU! I don't
need no help man.
A: Well, you did call the Help Desk™ didn't you?
Q: Oh. Uh... yeah. I guess I did. Hmmmm. Well, can I
get a refund on some XS? I didn't like the Rootbeer
Blast stuff too much.
A: Platinum by Christmas huh? Yes, I can help you get a refund. What's your
IBO number?
Q: IBO number. That. Hmmmm. Well, there's this funny
story and you know, I really totally forgot what my number is and I don't have
it written down anywhere so I was hoping you could look it up for me.
A: I see. This may take a little while. Let me transfer you to my supervisor.
Q: Great. Uh... thanks.
A: No prob.
Q: So what's up with that Jacey
Wyatt chic? Is she some ultra-hot IBO or what?
A: Her body's great but dude, I'm sorry, she's got a man-face.
Q: I wasn't looking at her face. Know what I mean?
A: I know exactly what you mean but you can't deny that she's got a butter face.
Q: Butter face? What's that?
A: You know. Butter
face. Everything but-her-face is attractive.
Q: Oh man that's harsh. So is she a scantily-clad IBO
or what?
A: I'm not sure. It looks like the press
release was changed. I swear it
had her IBO number on it at one point.
Q: Well, she's definitely hot and if she is an IBO,
I'd want to be in her downline.
A: I wouldn't mind being personally sponsored by her one bit. Recruit
me baby.
Q: I heard that Oasis LifeSciences has this elixir that
gets rid of crabs. Where can I get some of that?
A: I'm not sure what you're talking about. This is the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™
and we sort of deal with Quixtar questions. Not Oasis.
Q: So you don't know where I can get the patented Crab-Away
formula?
A: Sorry. Afraid not.
Q: Damn. I really need some. See I got this really bad
infestation...
A: That's enough. I really don't need to know about your crab problem.
Q: It itches like crazy and nothing I try has worked.
I'm desperate and I know Oasis products work. I used some of their exclusive
Herpes-Be-Gone on my girlfriend last year and it got rid of her herpes.
A: Dude. You can't get rid of herpes.
Q: Herpes-Be-Gone got rid of it. I'm not kidding. She
used that stuff and in like a week it was all cleared up.
A: Right. You know it usually clears up in about a week anyway. But
the virus does not die. It just lays dormant.
Q: Oh. Really?
A: Yeah. Really.
Comments
Sexy CEO of JaceyWayatt.com endorses Quixtar
Quixtar First Partner Store for sexy model
http://www.amquix.info/humor/jacey_wyatt/jacey_wyatt.html
LOL, I'm freakin' pumped up. Sign me up Man-face Jacy.
Do you want to see a model? If so, you can now see and shop at a web site for everything you can image and want. Shop at jcwyatt and get hooked and keep coming back for more. Buying items is just the start, seeing Jacey Wyatt the bikini and under wear Fashion model in the web site is just one bonus and now you can be affiliated with her and her business.
That text from the press release was enough to bemoan the decline of grammar as part of elementary education. Also, the Mayor's Office just sacked four interns for looking at Ms. Wyatt's website. That kind of smut has no place in The Mayor's Office. But, she does, indeed have a man-face.
Dad gum it! I was wondering why my upline quit calling me. He had a sex change!
Hey... my blog got a press release changed :D
Wow, nice bod, face made me scared.
It is awesome that you all have time to make fun of me then spend time making money. Thanks for making me your daily punching bag and then bring me up to the level of a celebrity. At least i didnt have to sleep with any of you to get to the top! and PS JOSH that isnt true. have a good life lamers, and email me directly at my website
i win, jacey wyatt
You want me?jacey
and PS JOSH that isnt true.
Who is JOSH, What isn't true?
Lighten up, Jacey. You have some thin skin for a model with her own website full of sexy bikini pictures.
well this web site should be sued cause i read personal attackes and they were not deleted and what does me being in a bikini have to do with this debate? you all go to my site anyways. rules: Vigorous discussion and opposing viewpoints are welcome, but please keep comments *on-topic* and *civil*. Comments containing flames, trolls, or personal attacks are discouraged and may be deleted. If you don't know what this means, please choose not to participate. Thanks. exactly the owner of this website should follow its own rules and regulations.
again,
jacey wyatt
Miss Jacey, you may want to read this, about you:
http://tinyurl.com/hrpvc
There's another news release about you, Jacey
http://amquix.info/humor/jacey_wyatt/jacey_wyatt.html
Wow, that press release sounds very professional. Jacey Wyatt's sentences don't need no stinkin' verbs! My 6-year-old knows the difference between "its" and "it's". The girl sounds semi-literate. Honestly, it reads as if it were mechanically translated from Japanese to English.
Posted by: JanetM | December 10, 2005 1:16 PM