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October 14, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 38
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: Is Quixtar really killing Blu
Sphere?
Answer: Yes indeedy.
Q: But why? I loved Blu Sphere. It was so trendy and
hip.
A: Rumor is that Orrin Woodward slipped on a Blu Sphere catalog and almost broke
his neck. He became so enraged that he called up Jim Payne and demanded that
Blu Sphere be axed ASAP.
Q: Slipped on a catalog?
A: Yeah. Apparently the floor of his den is littered with Quixtar catalogs.
He walked in, slipped and you know the rest.
Q: Wow. So that's all it took to get rid of Blu Sphere?
A: Apparently so. And you know Jody Victor stubbed his toe on a stack of Sweet
Sixteen brochures.
Q: Aha. Thus the demise of Sweet Sixteen.
A: Yes indeedy.
Q: I'm not sure my Atmosphere Toaster is working right.
Can you help?
A: Uh... toaster?
Q: Yeah. I keep putting bread into the slot but nothing
happens. It just sits there.
A: Dude, it's NOT a toaster. It's an air purifier.
Q: Are you sure?
A: Yes, I'm sure. Look on the side. See where it says "Air Purifier?"
Q: Oh, I thought that was French for "Insert Bread
Here."
A: No, it's English for Air Purifier.
Q: Well that makes more sense. I was wondering why a
toaster cost nearly $1,000.
A: Right.
Q: Is Quixtar advertising
now?
A: Quixtar doesn't
advertise.
Q: So, what was that thing I saw in USA Today?
A: That looked a lot like advertising but it wasn't.
Q: Ok. Then what was it?
A: You know that plastic fruit the put in bowls? It looks real but it
isn't. You want to eat it, but it will only hurt your teeth if you do. It's
like that.
Q: I don't understand.
A: Well, think of it this way. The USA Today is a car and we
just put a bumper sticker on our car. That's not really advertising as much
as it's decorating our car.
Q: That makes absolutely no sense. Quixtar paid to have
that "bumper sticker" on the "car." That's advertising in
my book.
A: Well, you're wrong. It's not advertising. It's like the Super Bowl
commercial Quixtar's running next year. It's not advertising as much as it's
sharing our message with the world.
Q: Uh huh. Quixtar's in the Super Bowl?
A: Oh, I don't think I was supposed to mention the Super Bowl thing.
Comments
BluSphere is wrapping things up and closing things down.
Quixtar can't afford a Super Bowl commercial :)
Blu Sphere gone????
Looking forward to see the super bowl commercial :D
Posted by: Imran | October 15, 2005 5:18 PM