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September 23, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 35
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: I was up all night reading Scott Larsen's
website and boy does he have a lot of
info about Quixtar or what?
Answer: He's gay you know. A flaming queen.
Q: No, I had no idea. Well, it figures I guess.
A: Eric Scheibeler's gay
too.
Q: Really? The Merchants of Deception guy?
A: Yeah. So is Dave Touretzky,
Don Hargraves and Ruth
Carter.
Q: Wow, so much homosexuality. Surely all Quixtar critics
aren't gay... are they? What about that Quixtar BLOG guy?
A: Queer as a three dollar bill.
Q: No kidding?
A: No kidding. And the list goes on and on. Bo
Short, Don J. Lorencz and
Bruce Anderson — all gay.
Q: That's just unbelievable. So, pretty much anyone
who says anything critical about Quixtar is gay?
A: Pretty much. Did I mention that Dan
Margolies and Rob
Kirkbride are gay too? And the entire staff of Dateline
NBC is also gay.
Q: Right. Are you sure you don't have some freaky McCarthy-styled
homophobic obsession?
A: Hmmmmm. You look like you're a little light in the loafers yourself.
Q: What the hell? You're saying I'm gay because I ask
a question?
A: Thought I smelled something fruity.
Q: Ish dis da hep deshk?
A: Yes it is. What seems to be the problem?
Q: I tell you wusha poblem. Damn Misserans, Mizzorans,
doze Show me shtate retahds. Das da poblem.
A: You have a problem with people from Missouri?
Q: Damn shraight I gossa problem. Don't nunna dem know
bout lawyerin. Bunsha hillbillies.
A: Excuse me, are you drunk?
Q: Wasshit to yew? Yeah. So what if I am drunk? Ain't
no law gainst drinkin in Ohio. Judge Dorr can shove it!
A: The caller ID says you're calling from a "Jody Victor"
residence. Are you related to him?
Q: *click*
A: ...
Q: So a Quixtar employee outed
himself? What's up with that?
A: Who knows. It's Quixtar dude. Enough said.
Q: But what is this "Scion blog" anyway? It's
not even about Quixtar.
A: Right. It's about some new car but it was written "anonymously"
by Quixtar's Sr. Digital Art Director, hence the connection to Quixtar.
Q: But it's not even on the list of officially sanctioned
Quixtar blogs.
A: I know. I think he felt left out and wanted to feel special.
Q: But doesn't he know that he is special? He's a special
creation of God and has unique gifts to give to the world.
A: Maybe, maybe not. I really think he's just having a little fun. Probably
not enough of that since Mr.
Fun left Quixtar.
Q: Oh right. So what exactly is a Scion?
A: I think it's one of those hybrid cars. Not really sure. Looks kinda
like a Mini only not as cool.
Q: Gotcha. Well, I guess it's good that Quixtar employees
are outing themselves. Any others following suit?
A: Oh yeah. Next week a certain high-profile Quixtar employee will out
himself on the Queerty blog.
Q: Can I guess who it is?
A: Sure, but don't say Randy Bancino.
Q: Damn.
A: Talk to you later.
Comments
I'm gay, too. So's my wife.
PW
C'mon folks, do what I did and take the late actor Dick Sargent's advice - coming out of the closet is so much fun and a huge burden off of your shoulders once you do it.
Like the quixtar business, however, you have to first make the decision that you want to do it.
As part of the Cool Cities initiative, McDonaldLand flies the rainbow flag proudly. The Mayor's Office recognizes that gay people throw the best parties.
That's some good stuff :)
All critbots gay, but why their population is increasing?
IBO population, on other hand, is same since 30 years.
Who is yo daddy......
Imran wrote:
"All critbots gay, but why their population is increasing?
IBO population, on other hand, is same since 30 years.
Who is yo daddy......"
Well, using straight mathematics, the answer is quite simple for the quixbot elite:
Sponsor the gay critbots into the business:-)
Qblog,
That was great, had a good laugh!
Posted by: Joecool18 | September 23, 2005 7:39 PM