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September 9, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 34
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: Did you watch the football game last night?
Answer: I sure did. What a great game. Moss. Brady. Sapp. Dillon. Wow. Football
season is back!
Q: Yeah, well who won?
A: Who won? You mean you didn't watch the game? Opening night! NFL. What on
earth were you doing last night?
Q: Well, I was showing the plan to this keen couple
I met at McDonald's last week. It went really well I think. The husband, his
name is Andrew, asked me lots of questions.
A: Well good for you. Sorry you missed the game. It was fun and I'm
one of those guys that really likes John Madden even if he is an idiot. Glad
he's with Al Michaels now.
Q: He's not still with Pat Summerall?
A: Dude, Pat retired like a couple of years ago. Where you been? Madden's on
ABC now.
Q: Oh, yeah. I think I remember hearing something about
that. So is Dennis Miller still doing Monday Night Football?
A: Uh, yeah. And Rush Limbaugh is still on ESPN. Do you even watch football?
Q: Sure, I watch when I'm not building my business.
A: Right. Sure you do. Who won the Super Bowl last year?
Q: Ummm. Dallas?
A: Good-bye!
Q: I'm an IBO and I really want to go to FED but I just
don't have enough money to go. Are there any discounted tickets available?
A: I don't think so. However, I know of a deal
where non-IBOs get in free under certain conditions.
Q: Well, that doesn't help me... or does it?
A: Sure, I guess. You could resign your IBO-ship and then get the free tickets.
Yeah, I guess that could work.
Q: That's brilliant! FED, here I come. Now, how do I
resign as an IBO?
A: Not sure. I think you have to call Quixtar or something. I'll get
back to you on that.
Q: So, Beth
Dornan and Robin
Luymes are writing blogs for Quixtar. Think anyone else will be "outed"
anytime soon?
A: Yes. The authors of Quixtar
IT Blog, Bob's Quixtar
Blog, E-Marine, Biz-Owner and
Quixtar Business IBO will
all be outed very soon. It will be a grand event with lots of cake and punch.
Q: Wow, that's a lot of outing.
A: Sure is. There hasn't been a public outing like this since Ellen
DeGeneres.
Q: So, how do you know who's behind all those blogs?
A: Well, let's just say that Ken McDonald didn't exactly "retire" and
he's got a few axes to grind if you catch my drift.
Q: Aha!
A: Yeah, and it turns out that Orrin Woodward isn't really writing any
of his blogs. They're all written by a 14-year-old boy in Sri Lanka named Eppi
Tipsumfu.
Q: No kidding? That's weird.
A: Actually, a lot of the Quixtar-run blogs are published by students
in India. It's part of Alticor's strategy to ship
jobs to Asia.
Q: Maybe that explains the increase of Desi
IBOs?
A: Could be. In fact, most of Quixtar's growth is attributed to minorities
and ethnic groups, especially Hispanics.
Q: Really? That's cool. I hope Quixtar will start selling
burritos then. I love me some burritos.
A: I think that's a racist comment.
Q: How so? I do love burritos.
A: Not sure but it seems like it's the wrong thing to say.
Q: I gotta go anyway. I'm sorry if I offended any Hispanics.
But I eat at Taco Bell like twice a week.
A: Bye.
Comments
I like the "week in review" format of the HelpDesk.
Also, the football comment is spot-on. The ex-buddies at work used to be huge sports fans (like I am). Now they sit there on Monday morning at the water cooler while we talk about the weekend's sporting events. They look sleepy too.
Losers.
I watched the whole game too. It makes for a short night, but you only get one Opening Day for the NFL season.
The broadcast crew is quite good, all three of them. John Madden, Al Michaels, and the box that Al stands on so he appears the same height as John when they show the two of them in the booth.
You mean Dallas DIDN'T win the Super Bowl last year?????
CFL is better than NFL
I may be biased, however.
Being Canadian and all
Yeah, the CFL is better than the NFL.
Have another bowl of Flutieflakes.
Good grief.
The only time the CFL made headlines was when Rahib "Rocket" Ismael jumped on that dude's helmet after a play.
Great highlight to be known for, eh?
Argonaughts and Eskimos, oh my !!
Farcial Help Desk brightens my day =)
Posted by: quiksilver723 | September 9, 2005 6:19 PM