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August 18, 2005
Quixtar And Kabbalah
By QBlog in Quixtar
An Alticor insider, who wishes to remain anonymous, has revealed that Quixtar is planning to be the exclusive distributor for Kabbalah Energy Drink.
"Quixtar is seeking to capitalize on the extreme popularity of energy beverages," said the unnamed Quixtar official. "XS quickly surpassed our expectations but, as the market becomes more competitive, we're seeing a decline from our initial growth. Now Quixtar is expanding into the Jewish sector with the Kabbalah Energy Drink."
Some speculate that such a move is part of a larger strategy to sign up more Jewish IBOs. Quixtar is primarily comprised of Christian IBOs with a growing number of Muslims and Hindus.
"Reaching out to the Jews makes sense for a company like Quixtar," said Ben Goldberg, director of Jewish Studies International. "Our organization has been working with Quixtar to develop Jew-friendly products that will appeal to the Orthodox population."
Goldberg says that kosher versions of meal replacement bars and Critic's Choice products should be on the market by Hanukkah.
The above parody brought to you by the indomitable QBlog Productions
Comments
Funny indeed!!! But not too far from the truth, as you sometimes expect satire to be. Amway had made some effort into certifying many of their products as Kosher (there are several levels of that, the most difficult being "Kosher for Passover"), which is an expensive proposition involving rabbis, inspections, etc. They even got some of the vitamins (K)'ed.
What wasn't so funny in the business is the profound ignorance of the kingpins towards Jews and things Jewish. It improved a little over time, especially when the explosion of Asian Indian IBOs took place, and the "leadership" had to find a way to adjust their "message" into something a little more accommodating than the AmQuix Christian mainstream.
The most ironic circumstance that I had personally observed is when an Orthodox Hasidic rabbi from Connecticut joined Kent Allen's group. Kent was a diamond, personally sponsored by his childhood friend, Paul Miller, but he was also a "good 'ol boy" and as country as they come. The rabbi and his wife were growing rapidly - changed pins every function - and they were all by themselves without an immediate upline nearby, "plugged-in" with some group in NY-Connecticut area. Their growth pretty much obliged and forced Kent to go up there and invest his time in a growing organization. Nothing like a tobacco farm raised country boy "spinnin' dem circulars" for a room of bearded, black-hat Hasidic Jews... :-)
Does this mean Quixtar is going Hollywood? Since Kabbalah is the biggest trend up there. Wouldn't it be funny to see the mainstream Christian IBO's trying to sell Kabbalah energy drinks, showing posters with suggestive poses of the many starlets that embrace Kabbalah?
Great idea, southerndeb! A poster of Madonna in splints after her recent accident, and a caption: "Kabbalah Energy Drink makes the bones heal in half the time!"
Quixtar or not, the commercialization of the Kabalah teachings in this country by the New Age folk is disgusting and shameful. Kabalah, Jewish mysticism, is a set of complicated teachings that, according to Jewish law, should not even be approached by laypersons and by people who are less than 40 years old. Why? Because only 40 years of studying the Torah and the Talmud can adequately prepare one for attempting to understand the teachings of Kabalah.
In this country, however, some washed-up celebrity thinks mysticism is "cool," changes her name, and thinks she's a Kabalah expert, while the rest of the New Age sheep follow her.
The New Agers have turned sacred texts into a fad religion. And Kabalah wasn't the only religion turned into a fad: think of how many "enlightened" college students converted to Buddhism or Bahaism because they thought it was cool.
And look what happened when the uninitiated got a hold of Christianity.
Heeeee-larious.
Mikebot and Poorhouse Tony were getting all fired up to post about Q's explosive growth! Yeah, it's expolsive alright....
Posted by: df | August 18, 2005 8:07 PM