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June 10, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 26
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: What's up with
this NAO Cosmetics thingy from
Quixtar?
Answer: It's a new line of cosmetics designed to appeal to Asian women... and
possibly young Asian males.
Q: Asians huh? Is that politically correct to develop
cosmetics for a specific race?
A: Who knows? It's been done for years so why should it be a problem? You remember
Afro
Sheen don't you? Different people have different needs.
Q: And you're sure it's designed for Asians?
A: Of course it is, the NAO website features an Asian woman on the front page.
Q: That's not very convincing. Lots of sites feature Asian
women on the front page. That doesn't mean they're designed for Asians.
A: Ok, well who is the most famous Chinese leader of the modern Era?
Q: Ummm... Charlie Chan? I give up.
A: Mao Tse-Tung. That's MAO which is only one letter different than NAO! See
the connection? And, what about TAO Te Ching? Again, one letter difference!
TAO-MAO-NAO.
Q: You're nuts dude. You've been no help at all. Good-bye.
A: Did I tell you that the cosmetics were made with ginseng?
Q:
Hi, this is Mike. I just heard Quixtar is extending its Kick
Start recruitment program, is that
true?
A: Yes. Quixtar believes the program may become a permanent part of the business. They're
also looking at several similar programs that would continue the recruitment
initiative that Kick Start began.
Q: Really? Like what?
A: Well, there's Jump Start - where each IBO is given a set of jumper
cables for every new recruit who buys an eSpring
filter. And there's Smart Start - each IBO gets a set of vintage
encyclopedias (circa 1990) for every 10 new recruits who renew at the end of
the year. And
the last one being considered is called False Start - where IBOs are
rewarded for lying to new recruits and making them think they're joining ANYTHING
but Quixtar. Each IBO who successfully fools 5 recruits gets a hug from Dexter
Yager.
Q: Wow. That's awesome. I heard Dex gives great hugs.
A: You heard right Mike!
Q: Is it ok to date your upline?
A: Sure. I mean, it could present some problems but there aren't any rules against
it.
Q: Yeah. Problems. Ok, thanks.
A: Wait. Are you dating your upline?
Q: Oh, well not yet but I'm trying to but she's a tough
nut to crack.
A: Explain.
Q: Well, I keep sending her flowers and cards and leaving
her poetic messages and asking her out for a date but she's just been really
busy.
A: Is she a Platinum? Platinums can be very busy.
Q: Yeah. But she also says things that I don't understand.
Stuff like "leave me alone" and "I'm not interested in you like that."
A: Dude. You're stalking this chic?
Q: No, no, no, no... well... yeah. Ok, some may say
I'm stalking her but I look at it like this – I'm fiercely loyal to my upline.
A: You've got some issues. I think you should back off her for a while.
Q: But I'm in love!
A: Well, you could always write a country song. "I'm in love with my
upline but she don't love me!"
Comments
I heard they're also coming out with a line of cosmetics & skincare especially for critics. It's made from natural "equestrian" ingredients... its called Poo4u. Just apply generously over your entire face and leave on for 40 years ;)
They are also coming with a pack called "The Goat pack". It's a complete sample pack for the platinum IBOs. It contains a
- Men's health bottle of Ginseng,
- A Goat Endurance grassy Potion (for goat)
- Magnesium separate for you know whom
- And a 'negativity remover' tape for goat. That tape removed all the negativity from goat and goat is forever thankful to the platinum and will feel blessed.
Some goats are reported to ‘go the distance’ for their ‘ex-platinums’
What country, again, was that funny in?? Sit down Imran... next!
"Because your mine...I don't crossline"
I can hear the Johnny Cash tune now!
A movie: "Crossline Fever"
Imran=FUNNY! Goats forever
New cosmetics for Quixbots:
1-Vanishing (motive) Concealer
2-Brown Lipstick... Wait- they don't need that, they've got their upline Diamond...
3- Nail Strengthener, so they can better continue to "hang on"
4- Platinum Blush (because nothing that THEY do will make them naturally blush any longer
Boy, that was fun!
I must have missed the kate about the Poo4u, but I still get a kick of how many of you they suckered into paying $9.60 for shaving creme. It is:
1. NOT more concentrated than any other
2. NOT higher quality than any other (it says 'formulated for men' or something like that, yeah, so is EDGE), do a blind test, Edge beats the FACIAL HAIR off Tolsom.
3.NOT bulk quantity
I literally think the R&D team is sitting around snorting the SA8 and laughing up "Lets what else we can mark up to an INSANE price and see how many mind-controlled people buy it"
It is good site of blog. It is especially coming out of the line of cosmatic & skin care
I have to laugh at the hypocrisy of your blog rule that states, "... but please keep comments *on-topic* and *civil*. Comments containing flames, trolls, or personal attacks are discouraged and may be deleted."
The very nature of your blog is flaming, trolling, and full of personal attacks. Credibility does not reign here.
When people search on google for NAO Cosmetics this shows up in the first page. STOP making fun or making jokes about stuff. We need to keep a positive, edifying attitude. If any of you are not successful in the business, you need to ask yourself why. It's because of your attitude. Please keep only professional comments on this site...everyone in the world sees them.
man this blogs sux even an 11 year old kid writes better blogs. im 19 and im making so much money than your fools. thanx to quixtar i can help all my ghetto friends change theyre life. you'd rather live in the ghetto? heck no.....
tyrone
I love the NOA cusmetic line.
Found out that my eyeliner pencel color has been discontinued , What can I do to get this color put back on line.
The pencil is Twril . Please bring back !
You are rediclous, immature, and need to seriously consider getting a new hobby because you are a fool. It seems like quixtar didnt work for you, or more less you just didnt work at it, so your lashing out at the company. Way to go!! I'm sure this website will get you much more financially independent then quixtar ever will..and we aren't allowed to post "personal attacks" on you but thats basicly what all of your blogs are about? I would expect that from someone as mature as you seem.
TAO-NAO, brown cow..
Another country song: "She Never Listens To Her Downline's Lines."
Or maybe: "Downline Over The Line."
Here's: "Don't Cross Your Upline."
How about: "I'm Edifying You."
I've also heard that Dex has mastered the "pat-on-the-ass." Get close enough for a hug, and he might getcha.
PW
Posted by: PW | June 10, 2005 6:31 PM