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April 29, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 21
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: Hi, I think I'm having a problem with downline.
He never talks and just sits in the corner drooling and humming. What should
I do?
Answer: How much PV does he pull in every month?
Q: Around 100-150. Why?
A: Ah, well not to worry then. Your downline is just blissfully happy to be
using Quixtar products and he has trouble finding the words to express such
joy.
Q: Well, he doesn't actually use the products. He sort
of smashes them as soon as they arrive. He sometimes stomps on the boxes without
even opening them. It's a scary scene.
A: But his checks do clear right?
Q: Well, sure though I do wonder where he gets the money
because he doesn't seem to work anywhere.
A: I understand your concern but it's really much ado about nothing. Your downline
just has a unique way of expressing his love of Quixtar and you really shouldn't
prevent him from being a unique IBO.
Q: Ok. If you say so. But can you at least talk to him
and convince him to quit wearing a lobster bib when he shows the plan?
A: No problem. Put him on the line.
Q: Thanks... one sec.
A: K.
Q: Nnggshhh. Plfffttt bbt.
A: Hello? Hello, anyone there?
Q: Blubbie mmmpppt?
A: Ah yes. Hi. Could you stop wearing that lobster bib when you show the plan.
It's unsettling to the new recruits and is not part of Quixtar's Best Practices
for Plan Showing.
Q: Deeeeek vrrrmmmm gllippp
A: I see. Well thanks then and have a pleasant day.
Q: Does Quixtar sell condoms?
A: Nope. Don't think so. Let me check... Nope.
Q: How bout sponges?
A: No sponges either. You know, Quixtar doesn't sell any sort of contraceptive
devices.
Q: So no spermicide foam?
A: No.
Q: Any Fudge Pops?
A: I'm not sure what you're suggesting.
Q: Does Quixtar sell Fudge Pops?
A: Is that some slang term for a contraceptive?
Q: No, it's a frozen dessert treat.
A: Well... yeah. Quixtar sells those.
Q: Great.
A: Yeah. Sure.
Q: Hello? Hi, my son will not behave and I need some
help. I'm beginning to be afraid of him and what he might do.
A: You're afraid of your son's behavior? Well ground him to his room or something.
Q: I can't do that. He's a child actor and brings home
a lot of money!
A: I see. Well just ground him for a little while then.
Q: But we're having a new house built in the Hamptons
and he brings home a LOT of money.
A: You mentioned that.
Q: So, he's just going crazy. Setting fires, stealing,
getting into fights, cursing at people, vandalizing and so much more that I
just want to cry. And every time I try to punish him he says he'll run away.
A:Wow. Your kid doesn't need a spanking. He needs to be locked up! Call
the cops and send him to Juvey.
Q: No, no, no. You don't understand...
A: I know, he brings home a LOT of money. But don't you know that he's
dangerous and may hurt himself and others? You can't let that continue no matter
how much money he brings home. If he continues on this path he won't be able
to act at all any more and then he won't bring home any money. Your son needs
some really tough love right now.
Q: I know. You're right. But it's just so hard and the
money... and what if he left? I'd be devastated.
A: You're the parent. You're ultimately responsible for your son. As
a parent it's your duty to know what he's doing and discipline him when appropriate.
And in this case, it sounds like your son needs to be locked up or sent to a
rehab center for a while. What's his name by the way?
Q: Leonard. Leonard Oliver Abernathy.
A: Ok. So what little LOA needs is tough love and a whole lot of discipline.
And he needs it now or else he'll destroy himself, you and possibly many more.
Q: Ok. Thanks. I'll try.
A: There you go. You can do it. Won't be easy but I know you can do
it.
Comments
Yeah....fudge pops. If u go to in ur buddy house and suspect 'sum sum' gonna happen and find a lot of fudge pops on friedge, put read grinded spices on top of all fudge pops. :D Life is not bad....
who is Leonard Oliver Abernathy?
Imran...Leonard Oliver Abernathy means LOA... like BWW, WWDB etc.
ROTFL! Fudge pops.... I think they have yogert pops too in case you're not into chocolate!
Posted by: imanewme | April 29, 2005 3:46 PM