QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 20

By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk

Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!

Question: So is Ken McDonald really retiring?
Answer: Yes. That's what they say.

Q: Don't you think it's odd that this announcement comes less than two weeks before he's scheduled to leave?
A: Perhaps, but don't forget that McDonald is getting old and he does have that farm you know.

Q: Farm? Oh, you mean that Woodchuck Cottage thing?
A: No. I mean his farm. With animals. On his farm he has a cow, E-I-E-I-O.

Q: Ah! Old McDonald's Farm. I get it. So he's retiring to fulfill his dream of living out a childhood song?
A: With a moo-moo here and a moo-moo there. Here a moo. There a moo. Everywhere a moo-moo.

Q: I recently became an IBO and I'm astounded by the quality products and the excellent support and the awesome website and my wonderful upline and the...
A: Whoa there Nelly. Slow down. If you continue at this pace you'll run out of adjectives. You know there's an adjective shortage right?

Q: An adjective shortage? I had no idea. That's startling news. When did this bizarre shortage occur?
A: Watch yourself there cowboy. This is serious. But yeah, we became aware of the adjective shortage back in 1999, right before Quixtar launched. Adjectives like "awesome" and "exploding" were almost totally eradicated from the English language. It was scary.

Q: Uh, "exploding" is a verb dude.
A: Not the way Bill Britt used it.

Q: Ok. Well, I'm still excited about the Quixtar opportunity and can't wait until my first conference. I think it's in Dallas.
A: Well have fun but go easy on those adjectives. We don't want to have to start rationing them again.

Q: Hi there. I'm trying to get me some of them motivational tapes but my Direct keeps yapping about the Innernet. Can you help me?
A: It's InTERnet and yes, I think we can help you. Your upline is most likely trying to get you to sign up to some online service so you can download your motivational stuff in digital format instead of carting boxes of tapes around.

Q: What the hell you just say? English boy, speak English!
A: Ok. Do you have a computer?

Q: Sure I got a 'puter. Had it for 20 years.
A: Twenty years huh? That may be a problem.

Q: Look, you gonna help me figger out how to get my tapes or not?
A: Tell you what, come by the office and I'll fill the bed of your truck with tapes. Only condition, you must promise never to call again.

Q: You got yourself a deal.
A: Great. Good-bye.

Comments (4) TrackBack (0)