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April 8, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 19
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: Hi, my name is Bob and I love milk.
Answer: Good for you Bob, what can we help you with?
Q: Help me drink lots of milk. Did you know that milk
is an excellent source of calcium?
A: Yes Bob, we know that. And Vitamin D too. So do you need help or do you just
like to call people and tell them about milk?
Q: Sometimes I drink goat milk. It's not as yummy as
cow milk but I still drink it.
A: Bob, we must let you go. Please don't call again.
Q: But... milk?
A: *click*
Q: I feel really sick...
A: Take Double
X
Q: Really? Ok, but will that make me feel better? I
mean I have this awful...
A: Drink XS Energy Drink.
Q: But you're not even listening to my symptoms. I really
don't think that...
A: Take Nutrilite.
Q: Ok. If you say so. I just don't see how those will
help my...
A: Eat Trim Advantage bars.
Q: But I have really bad diarrhea and I'm vomitting.
I need help, not some nutrition bars, energy drinks and vitamins.
A: Oh, why didn't you say so? Here, listen to this Randy Haugen tape.
Q: Hi there Helper folks. Can you help me find my keys?
A: Where did you leave them?
Q: See, I was in line at the Kwik Shop and trying to
find some change and in walked Dexter Yager and he bumped his head on my knee.
A: He fell onto your knee?
Q: No. He walked into my knee. He's only like two feet
tall or something. His nose is perfectly aligned with my knee. Anyway, so Dex
bashes his head on my knee and starts screaming in his cute little voice and
I looked down to console him.
A: And that's when you lost your keys?
Q: No, actually I just found them. I thought this was
a good way to make a "short" joke about Dexter Yager.
A: You tall people are so cruel.
Comments
Why do you mess with the Quixtar business by the whole, but yet you don't focus on the particular "group" or "company" that is doing the wrong stuff via the pyramid scam or the selling of materials to "help grow your business" (books, tapes, etc.). Those "help grow your business" materials are voluntary meaning you don't have to get them, it's your choice. How is this a pyramid scam. If you look up pyramid scam in a dictionary, then it's not anything that Quixtar is. From what I'm hearing is that whoever started this was in this business but couldn't go through with it because he "wasn't able" to do what would be needed to be done to be successful, via buying from the website (that's fricken easy. not too hard.). So my question to you would be this: How can you bash in Quixtar when you didn't do anything? How can you say crap when you think that it's going to be handed to you. Because of all the scams in the world Quixtar can't explain to people what Quixtar is all about because people are going to freak out about it. Nobody can believe that it's that easy... because of the "natural" values they were taught in school and by their parents etc.. These people who aren't open to opportunities DON'T have an open mind.
Thanks,
Dan
(oh yeah you can get back to me by email at sprkydanny@aol.com
Part 2 rocks. :D
Posted by: Imran Aziz | April 10, 2005 5:17 AM