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March 26, 2005
Wakeup Factor #6 - Pain
By Dorothy Still In Oz in March of Perceptions
Waking up from the nightmare that is the World Wide Dreambuilders system came gradually. I learned about the tool money the Diamonds earn from the system. I figured out that there is no ongoing income at Diamond without continuing to work the business. I didn't see enough people around me moving on. I was tired of feeling guilty all the time about not yet going Ruby and Diamond. However, I could live with those factors and still let myself be blinded, but there was one factor that I could ignore no longer — PAIN.
We became great friends with many of our downline. How could we avoid it? We spent all our time with people in our downline; we'd drifted from our old friends because we were unavailable, could not relate to normal people anymore, and were afraid of negative association! So for years the small amount of socializing we've done has been with our favorite downline who have become our new group of friends.
Most of the people who have been with us from the beginning of our Amway experience had reached 1000pv, 2500pv, or 4000pv at some point during the last decade. Just like the Diamonds, most everyone has sunk back to a lower PV level, usually back to 1/3rd of their highest level. They do not make a net profit because they continue to plug into the system out of loyalty to our group and the hope that someday they will achieve their own dreams.
Plugging into the system (premier membership, standing order tape, functions, voicemail, etc) without the bonus from Quixtar to pay for it becomes a serious drain on one's finances over a long period of time. If you are CORE, this can be $5000 — $10,000 per year, no problem.
I've watched my friends tank financially (repo'd cars, foreclosed homes, ruined credit), but continue to stay plugged into the system paying the same $5000+ per year. It's crazy. They're hanging on to hope because they're told this is the best thing they can do with their lives. Some stay in because now they REALLY need it to dig themselves out of the hole they've gotten themselves into. They do not pursue promotions at their jobs because they're told at functions that if they change jobs they will lose their focus on the business. Some stay in because they have no idea what else they would do — every other career has been maligned by the Diamonds as a dead-end in the rut world.
It's been easier for us to stay in, not as financially painful; we've had significant bonus checks for years, but what about my friends? Most have gotten out, but the most loyal ones don't walk away because of the relationships formed. And year after year, behind their now plastic smiles, I see PAIN.
- The pain of financial disaster
- The pain of unreached dreams that they've cultivated for years
- The pain of missing out on the most cherished events in life – weddings, birthdays, family reunions (the real ones)
- The pain of failure at non-achievement
- The pain of attendance at ANOTHER function without crossing stage
- The pain of being asked, yet again, "Is this Amway?"
- The pain of being handed a two-inch pile of papers printed off the Internet by another prospect
- The pain of wondering, "Will I ever get to Ruby, much less Diamond?"
Why aren't these people told to let go of the business and move on? When a downline asks if they "should go to the next function," we ARE trained to tell them "no" because a person who's asking isn't ready and doesn't really want to go. However, these are not the people who would ask. Ron Puryear has taught to upgrade AND downgrade people to their true level on a CD, but I've NEVER seen a downgrade in action. No one sets a meeting to tell the old timers to quit, and as we all know, "Winners never quit!"
Diamonds, please stop their pain. Let them move on to something else and keep their self-respect at the same time. Why won't you let them go?
The "March of Perceptions" is a special Quixtar BLOG project featuring the perceptions of four guest bloggers during the month of March.
Comments
Why won't they let them go?
I think we all know the answer to that, and it has nothing to do with helping people.
Anyone ever heard of an upline telling an IBO that maybe this isn't for them, and they should move on?
I'll bet not as long as the person is plugged in.
Calling all faithful pro-Q posters:
Here's a good place to insert the obligatory Wal-Mart comparison! What's the likelihood that a WalMart employee's "upline" would let them stay "plugged in" to the Wal-Mart "system" of success if they did everything they were told to do . . . . . and failed to achieve the objective laid down by the "upline" supervisors?
About the same as the likelihood of success in Q, I imagine.
And remember the old stand-by definition of insanity - doing the same thing over & over (duplication) and expecting different results (th Diamond lifestlye). The System and the upline pins as much as REQUIRE an IBO to continue to throw resources at the System, year after year. And that's despite the FACT that the System is not producing results.
I mean, if you came accross a Diamond Lifestlye vending machine that only accepted $1000 bills and took a month to dispense products (the Diamond Lifestlye), only to find that your product got stuck in the machine, how many more $1000 bills (and months) would you be willing to throw at it?
I know that's a personal question, but it's certainly not rhetorical. Thousands of us inserted bill after bill, month after month, with no product dispensed. For me, the PAIN that ended it was the thought of a future like those described here - alienated, broke, ashamed . . . .
Because I'd been ripped off in MLM before, it only took my wife & I a couple of $1000 bills and a couple of months to wise up & change direction. We consider ourselves lucky. And to all those who push on, faithfully inserting $1000 bills and investing months, we say "don't say we didn't warn you!" Of course we're all free to make our own decisions about Q. But why toss aside all the free advice? Why insist on bringing the PAIN?
Why indeed.
well i dont have to feel the pain anymore i walked away from amquix about 2 weeks ago and i started my own lawn care business i tell you this i was more profitable in my first week at my lawn care bussiness then i ever made in profits trying to sell the plan or products.
By the way, my point was that in a "regular" business environment, those above you are routinely required to get you out of the business if you're not producing results. And in most cases, "results" means selling whatever it is your company sells - at a profit.
So in the case of Q, the only real product is the dream. And that product is only available for wholesale purchase! We all know that virtually none of the fine A/Q products end up in a retail consumer's kitchen or bath. They, like the dream, are a mandatory wholesale purchase.
That's just another reason that A/Q success, failure, news, or results have no effect outside Q. It's all of Q, for Q, and by Q. In this case, you can substitue A/QMO for "Q", since all Q cares about is moving A/Q product - and they're happy moving 95% (or whatever) to the IBOs. The A/QMOs don't care about moving product . . . . except for THEIR product, which is the dream (and the tools!).
How can an operation like that NOT bring pain? There's no way to win without causing pain! So if you fail to achieve, you create pain. And if you succeed, you deliver pain.
Painful, isn't it?
One of the sad parts of all of this is that the A/Q products are actually pretty good, for the most part. Some are pricey, but I've found the quality to be decent. I'm also one of those who "plugged in" to the system for a number of years and spent 1000s of dollars, until I got to the point where enough was enough. I also realized - too late - that most of the upline wasn't interested in me; they were simply interested in how many people I could bring to a function or get on the "standing order" tape series.
From a Quixtar IBO who hasn't quit.
The Pain you people are talking about is the pain of "seeing" the truth about the "RUT" system that we have all been brought up in since birth. Get a good education and then a good job and then everything in life will be alright. Wrong!
The "PAIN" you people are talking about is the one you experience after having eaten the RED pill when you should have eaten the BLUE pill, and then realizing that(unlike the guy who sold out in the Matrix And betrayed His brothers)you cant just sell out and get plugged back into the "Matrix" (a.k.a. the LIE) and become , once more, oblivious to the REAL world. Because life isn't a movie and you have to strive and struggle in or out of the business to succeed.
I pitty you poor souls who, in an attempt to alleviate your own pain. {Having had to face the fact, that you either dont have what it takes or just cannot muster up the motivation to achieve more than mediocrity in life.} You find it necessary to badmouth a great company, Quixtar, and the many great motivational support organizations that attempt to help the willing achieve "something" in life.
It is a shame to think that anyone who has seen hope for their lives, once again, through the opportunity presented by the business, could stumble into this site and have those hopes dashed by a few LOSERS in life who cannot achieve more in life than mowing lawns, delivering papers, and shoveling snow!!
Lastly, I say I am an IBO who hasn't quit, because I have been an IBO in the business for 16 years and I am not Diamond, or Ruby, or even Platinum, YET.
During that time no one has ever DEMANDED that I buy tapes or CD's or attend functions. And I have voluntarily, with my eyes WIDE open, spent 1,000's of dollars over the years doing just that. And the value of doing so, over the years, just in the enrichment of my own life, is greater than I can measure in terms of mere dollars! And as for the products... they are great, and I have ALWAYS been taught that if I can find a better value outside of the business, to purchase the item there!
I wish I could feed you folks the BLUE pill again and make your PAIN go away, but once you know the truth it is hard to un-know it, regardless of how deep in the snow you bury your head.
The PAIN I feel is for all the folks who will, after stumbling on to a web site like this, let you steal their dream, without even giving themselves a chance.
There is definitely a feeling of guilt. For a while, that was all that was keeping me in. I have watched myself swing from "fired up" to burned out. For those who really work it, the business is an amazing opportunity, and for those that invest too much emotionally, there is great potential to make it a lie you will resent for a long time.
I respect people like Imran Aziz, who instead of mindlessly bashing Quixtar for a bad experience, have enough judgement to take a lesson from it, move on, and offer a word of wisdom to those able to digest the truth. I also respect the Diamonds who have put a lot of hard work into their dreams, and continue to be the source of encouragement for otherwise downtrodden souls.
As for me, though I have lost money, it more than makes up for what I have gained in experiences, life lessons, and personal growth. I feel like I will be letting my sponsor and upline down when I tell them I will not be continuing with the business, but my dream takes me away from the business, and a dream is only as big as the obstacles that get in its way.
I am finishing up my application for the Peace Corps. I have no expectations of saving the world, but somehow I think I might be able to save myself. The money that would normally go to tapes and products will go to paying off my car and continuing school before I leave. A decision has never felt so right.
I'll fall back on my usual argument that both sides need to open their minds to other possibilities. If you are willing to sacrifice free time and sanity for a short amount of time, you can obtain great wealth and free time with the business, or at least build a better values foundation. If you think the business is the only answer to the only true dreams, and don't understand how leaving might benefit someone, you need a reality check.
Telling my sponsor will be hard, but giving up doing something that has felt right all my life would be even harder, not matter how much money I made. And I think I could have only come to that conclusion through the business.
The Journey is the Destination. Good luck to you all!
You've done an excellent job in your series of capturing the essence of the problem with this business.
I've gotten over the guilt feelings, I'm enjoying my family time and I've sought and received a promotion at work.
I would encourage anyone reading these who is an IBO to ask themselves--at what point did I give someone else the right to tell me what is good for me and my family?
If I were to ask their kids or family members how much time they (upline) spend together outside the business would it be more or less than what I want?
If I were to mow yards, shovel snow or get a newspaper route--would I make more net income than I have in the past 5 years from Quixtar?
Posted by: inheriter | March 26, 2005 2:56 PM