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March 16, 2005
Quixtar Web Initiative Roster
By QBlog in
You've seen the blogs. Witnessed the link orgy. Experienced the Google Bombing. Now meet the highly skilled members of Quixtar's elite Web Reputation Task Force.
David Ellyatt (aka "The Fox")
Ellyatt's wicked awesome Web skills earned him the coveted Web Marketing Manager position at Quixtar. He is rumored to be the field leader of the WRTF and publishes the always difficult to spell Quixtar and Beyond blog. He's known as "The Fox" because he is both cunning and clever.
Margaret S. Ross (aka "The Snake")
Margaret (also answers to Maggie and Marge) is a Badass Web Reputation Specialist. She developed her formidable Web expertise while visiting a group of Tibetan Web Gurus during a summer trip to the Himalayas. After returning to her Atlanta home, she founded the Karamon Institute and developed Bully Prevention training for schools. Margaret was recruited by the WRTF in 2004 and currently presides over a horde of Web lackeys who dutifully churn out reams of unreadable PR pabulum. Coincidentally, the Tibetan Web Gurus are rumored to enjoy cold pabulum spread thinly on toasted rye bread.
Kathleen Vandervelde (aka "The Tasmanian Devil")
Kathleen is the WRTF "Blog Sensei" and was personally trained in the "art of blog" by none other than Jason Kottke. She's clearly mastered many difficult blogging moves including "the permalink," "the archive," "the comment," "the reference link" and the ever elusive "trackback." Her single weakness is "the frequent update" but that move is difficult even for veteran bloggers.
Kia (aka "The Rooster")
Kia's identity is shrouded in mystery. His "blog" is the only one linked directly from the HQ homepage so we know he's got connections. Some say that Kia is Ken McDonald's pseudonym while others have argued that it's an acronym meaning "Kick It Awesome!" Whoever he is, it's obvious that he's "the brains" behind the WRTF. Without any real Web skills, Kia prefers to sit in the metaphorical shadows, strategizing behind the scenes. When he's not plotting the next WRTF mission, Kia enjoys spending time at a cottage in North Michigan with his miniature poodle named "Dexter."
Comments
Hey, this would make a great comic book!
I see black and white pulp type drawings, with just a dash of vibrant red and blue a la the movie Sin City.
First villain introduction is a mild mannered reporter, who was injured in a chemical explosion and walked away from the hospital with unexplained powers and a need to blog. His name now becomes "The One".
Enter the WRTF!
With keyboards clicking and software and hard drives whirring away in the middle of the night, the Force goes to work.
On page 28, The Rooster says "Dammit Man, can't you see what is happening" to no one in particular.
Just then the Taz walks into the room.........
(stay tuned until next month)
no, no, no... Dave you got it all wrong.....
Upbeat music playing in background, deep "moviephone" voice starts in....
Kia as the cunning cigar chomping leader.... a master of disguise, spending his spare time acting bit parts in moster movies, "I love it when a website comes together!"
Kathleen Vandervelde as the musclebound tough guy, can build almost any website from spare parts found in a shed.... but has trouble keeping them going...."I ain't getting on no plane Rooster!"
Margaret S. Ross as the smooth talking con-man, able to get lots of people to do whatever she wants through the art of persuasion.... often living the high-life better than her compatriots. "C'mon Rooster, do we have to give them back ALL the money?"
and David Ellyatt as the lovably eccentric, often "crazy like a Fox" website writer who takes the brunt of the the "tough love" from the rest of the team. "Who put the stop payment on my Reality check?
Together, they alone stand up in defense of the big, rich guys of Ada Michigan....
They are.... The A...., err... "The Q Team"
Coming soon to a Tuesday night near you, with marathons one weekend every month, and conventions every 4 months.
"An IBOAI production"
Roger
Is Dexter the "Boss Hog "of this comic book?
WRTF.......WTF. We've seen many companies spouting non-sense for PR (GM, claiming they build WW2 tucks, yet exposed in Roger and Me, taking jobs of so many americans while opening 3 locations in mexico) etc.
Yet WRTF is THE most comical.
And ppl ask why I post about Quixtar. Quit being stupid, i'll go away. Scout promise.
The only member missing from your roster?
A monkey sidekick.
Kia's webpage is a favorite in the Mayor's office. We read of Kia's adventures, then laugh when we remember that the blog consists entirely of things that didn't happen.
Posted by: Mayor McCheese | March 16, 2005 1:47 PM