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March 18, 2005

QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 17

By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk

Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!


Question: For some reason the Quixtar site doesn't look right on my computer. Any ideas?
Answer: What? Is it all green? Do you see penguins doing the tango? What doesn't look right?

Q: It's really hard to see the whole site. Like the login is hidden on the right side of my screen.
A: Oh. You've got screen resolution problems. Go to Quixtar's helpful (but incorrectly named) page on changing your monitor resolution. Follow the instructions and you're done.

Q: Yeah, I already went there. Wasn't much help. See, I'm on a Mac.
A: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Wait one damn minute. You're saying you're using a Macintosh with a 640x480 monitor? I think that's illegal in every state except Alaska. What OS version are you running?

Q: Uh... System 7, why?
A: I'm afraid I can't help you my friend. In fact, the law says I'm supposed to report you to the One Infinite Loop Task Force. But I like you so I'll let it slide if you promise to never call again.

Q: But I gotta get my PV up so my sponsor can get his Platinum pin this month! What am I to do?
A: Bye.


 

Q: Amway = Quixtar Scam?
A: Pardon me?

Q: Amway = Quixtar Scam?
A: Are you asking me if Amway is equal to Quixtar Scam? I don't understand. Are you asking if the Amway business is the same as a Quixtar Scam?

Q: No. Pay attention and I'll explain this slowly so you can understand. Amway = Quixtar Scam? Same or Different.
A: Right. So Amway may be the same as Quixtar Scam or it may be different than Quixtar Scam and you're wanting to know if Amway is the same as Quixtar Scam right?

Q: Right.
A: Hmmmm. That's a tough one. So you're saying that Quixtar is a Scam and you want to know if it's the same or different than Amway? So, essentially you're asking if Amway is a scam right?

Q: I forgot. You're confusing me. Stop confusing me you evil, evil man. Be gone from me you Satan Worshipper!
A: Dude, you got issues. Do I know you? You sound familiar. What's your name?

Q: Randy Haugen.
A: Figures.


 

Q: How much PV is there on goats?
A: Goats? I don't think Quixtar sells goats. You mean like a real, live goat?

Q: Yes. Goats. I just bought a dozen goats from my upline and he said there's a bundle of PV for buying goats.
A: No. I think your upline is mistaken. You may want to get a refund.

Q: Darn. What about Goat Milk? I got six gallons of Goat Milk and I'm thinking there is lots of PV on that. It wasn't cheap ya know.
A: No. No PV on Goat Milk. You sure you're buying this stuff from Quixtar.com?

Q: Oh. Now that you mention it, I'm going to GoatStar.com. Gee is my face red. Sorry.
A: Naaaaah.

Comments (4) TrackBack (0)

Comments  

{Baaaaaaa}.

I, {Baaaaaaa}, an IBO, {Baaaaaaa} take this {Baaaaaaa} goat {Baaaaaaa} as my lawfully {Baaaaaaa} wedded wife. {Baaaaaaa}

I can't find a woman {Baaaaaaa} to be in submission to {Baaaaaaa} a person who loses {Baaaaaaa} $700 every month. {Baaaaaaa} but I have to be a {Baaaaaaa} man. Hence I'm marrying this {Baaaaaaa} goat.

{Baaaaaaa}

Is funny one *bleat*

*bleat*my upline just chewed up my last*bleat*sweetshot*bleatbleat*and I've got to hoof it to my*bleat*next major*bleat*function

*bleat*

Say fast *bleatbleatbleatbleatbleat*

Can someone pass the antacid? I think that the wrappers on my Positrim Bars have irritated my stomach

*bleat*

D'ya think he wanted to buy the Goads?


PW

Man, I hope he didn't want to buy the Goads. Those guys SUCK! (If I could put more emphasis on the word suck I would) I did a recent post on the "Amway Beatles" at "Sinking In Quixand" titled: Music Appreciation 101: I laughed, I cried.





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