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March 4, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 15
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: I got this talking bottle and it's not working
right.
Answer: Whoa! Wait. You have a talking bottle?
Q: Uh,yeah. Some Help Desk™ you are. Everyone
knows about Rex-The
Talking Bottle.
A: Oh, THAT talking bottle. Well why didn't you say so in the first place? Of
course I know about Ron-The Talking Bottle.
Q: It's Rex, rhymes with Dex.
A: What did I say? Oh, did I say Ron? I meant Rex but I just got off the phone
with a Ron and had Ron on my mind. You ever do that?
Q: Sometimes. Anyway, can you help me with my talking
bottle or not?
A: Oh darn. Ron's calling back on the other line and I really need to talk to
him. Can you call back in like five minutes? I'm so sorry.
Q: Hello.
A: Hi, can I help you?
Q: You wanted me to call back. Can you help me with
my talking bottle or not?
A: Oh right. It's you. Ok, Ron was it? Sure, what's the trouble.
Q: The name's Doug but anyway. See, Rex...
A: The Talking Bottle?
Q: Right. Rex is supposed to "read" my medication
instructions to me but lately it's been saying things to me that, well, frankly
they frighten me.
A: Let me guess. Rex has been telling you to rip the tags off your mattress
right?
Q: Exactly! Yes. Is that normal?
A: No, well it's a defect that was recently discovered in some earlier models.
Actually, you're lucky. The later models told people to visit Neverland Ranch.
Q: So is Quixtar doing anything to correct this?
A: Sure, they've contacted the Wizzards and are working on a solution. We'll
be sure to let you know.
Q: I was reading this article
about Rex-The Talking Bottle.
A: Again with the Rex. Don't rip the tags off your mattress and don't visit
Neverland Ranch and you'll be fine.
Q: Huh? No, see I was just wondering why the word "hear"
is in quotes.
A: Let me see that. Well damn, that is odd.
Rex-The Talking Bottle is an innovative assistive device that allows users to "hear" recorded medication instructions.
Q: So users aren't really hearing the medication instructions?
Instead they're "hearing" them.
A: No, I see what you're saying. I really don't know.
Q: So if I buy Rex-The Talking Bottle from Quixtar then
I won't hear the instructions but I will "hear" them being "read?"
A: I guess. I mean they won't be read to you, they'll be "read" to
you because it's really not reading them but just playing a recorded message.
But I guess you won't really hear the recording but will "hear" it
instead?
Q: Maybe it's just a typo?
A: I said the same thing about Rule
6.5.
Comments
I know a couple of blind people who would actually use this thing. It may sound like a funny idea, but imagine having no vision and having to recognize your pills by the feel of the bottle. Now, punch a button... beep... "this is Lexapro" or whatever... I find it clever.. like the 2 lieter bottle handles for people who can only use one hand... or the Jar opener for people who don't have much hand strength. If this product works right... then it could save a life... and that's kind of cool.
My boyfriend just joined Quixtar and seems to think it is a good idea. How do I convince him it is NOT (I have done my research and think it is a cult). He has already travelled to one meeting in the US (we are Canadian), with all expenses paid by him of course. I have shared my concerns with him and he is considering getting out but how does he do that without stepping on anyones toes? A co worker at hi day job got him involved and he doesn't want to hut his feelings. I would appreciate any and all advice. Thanks.
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Talking bottle :D they are so absurd to be true, but that's true. There is a product, talking bottle :D:D:D:D:D:D:D
How about Dex the talking Pajama? Or Kanti the talking Tub :) Or [kingpin] the talking peace of crap :D:D:D:D:D
Posted by: Imran Aziz | March 4, 2005 7:22 PM