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March 5, 2005
My "Waking Up" Story
By Dorothy Still In Oz in March of Perceptions
I was an AmQuix fanatic. I was 7/8 CORE for YEARS. We didn't show the plan 10x per month or sponsor 2 per month every month; so I can't say we "did the work", but we gave it our best shot. We ate, drank, and slept AmQuix and WWDB. We've attended EVERY function for more than a decade. We thought it was the best thing that any person could do with their life, and we worked it as hard as we could. We loved the IBOs, the upline, and the system. Along the way we reached Q12 Achievers Platinum.
So what changed? Why don't I want to stay in Oz anymore?
There was nothing specific. Nothing changed with WWDB, my upline, Quixtar. I changed. I woke up. The wrongs of the system had been right there in front of me for the 10+ years we'd been in, but now I was "seeing it" with a new mind.
When we first saw the business, we were idealistic dreamers who desperately wanted this to be real. Who wouldn't?! So I ignored the parts that didn't quite add up, or make sense, and accepted the system's explanations. The bonus claims I was calculating from the SA4400 (Amway used to publish actual $$ for each level) weren't matching up to the lifestyles I was hearing about, but these wonderful people wouldn't lie to me — would they? There was no Internet to research on, no www.amquix.info, no www.quixtarblog.com. And my critical thinking skills were lacking.
When I look back on 2003, I see that my mind transformation began when I committed myself to reading through the Bible in one year. I've been a Christian for years, but been lazy about Bible study. I truly believe that reading 4-5 chapters per day over six months time literally changed my mind. Hebrews 4:12 says "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Over time, the Word broke through the deception in my mind and helped me see truth.
Eventually, after a few months of brain-"washing" (cleaning out the system's propaganda from my mind), when I would listen to tapes and function speakers, I began to "hear" the exaggerations, the fallacies — the shallowness. By FED 2003, I was abhorred that thousands of people in one coliseum were all believing that they would be Diamonds too even though they'd tried for years with no results while giving most of their extra income to the Emeralds and Diamonds.
My husband is the typical, loyal Diamond follower — as was I, so I don't blame him. I was keeping this all to myself, hoping that he might "wake up" on his own, but I couldn't help talking differently about things related to the business. So eventually, he asked, I shared — and he laughed. He was relieved to finally understand what the tension in the house was all about. He isn't mad, and he accepts that I might have different opinions, but he feels that he has a rational, logical answer for every one of my points. I refuse to let this business come between my husband and I; I'm patient. I know eventually he will "wake up". So, for now, we're still in.
I still do everything I ever did: call-in, pickup, retail, functions. However, I'm very different with our downline because I see things so differently now. I encourage people to get OFF Premier Membership and Standing Order Tape if it's obvious they're not attempting to build the business. I encourage people to do whatever it takes OUTSIDE the business to make their finances work TODAY, not wait until they make extra $ from the biz. I encourage people to NOT attend functions if they don't think they can afford it. I encourage people to take vacations. I tell everyone how amazingly wonderful they are, and that not having built the business yet is not an indicator of their worth, their value, their business acumen, or their potential for a great future.
He'll quit if I ask; he loves me that much. But then he'll resent me instead of the biz. How long can I live in Oz? As long as it takes. He's worth it!
The "March of Perceptions" is a special Quixtar BLOG project featuring the perceptions of four guest bloggers during the month of March.
Comments
Dorothy,
My situation is eerily similar to yours. Good for you in keeping the faith and getting into the word. It's the best motivation out there.
Jason
I know what you are going through. I was in Quixtar/WWDB and from about '93-01. I was loyal too. I am thankful for the business because I remember Bill Britt recommending to goto a bible teaching church. At the time I was a non practicing catholic. So I am grateful in that aspect to the business.
I am not grateful for all the money I spent on tapes and functions. What a waste of money but some of the products I like but they were just too expensive.
When I started going to a bible teaching church they encouraged us to actually read the bible. As I read the bible I would come across passages that the Diamond were notorious for using. For example , Bill Hawkins and Ron Puryear would say "For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil." 1 Tim 6:10. Yet I never hear them quote them quote versus 8-10 "but if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into a temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction."
I also realize that many of the fights my wife and I would have was becuase of the business and the money I was wasting on it. I'll be totally honest I am a lot happier now that I have quit.
Just want to tell you that you are doing the rigth thing, sticking with your husband.
It's so hard to explain sometimes, to 'outsiders', even other Christians don't always understand why I stay committed to our marriage.
Granted, our story is a little different in that I was never involved, and said from day one that Amway was a cult. Our am-story involved constant arguing, lies, and evolved into bankruptcy and ultimately even violence. My husband was never deceptive or remotely aggressive before Amway, but became like a crazy person after about 8 years of constant exposure.
Was I perfect in all of our marriage? Of course not, and I've learned a lot about what I've done wrong in our life together, but I still believe that the biggest problem we have ever faced is Amway, or more specifically, the brainwashing, carefully concealed anti-God, anti-family, anti-education rhetoric that is the bread and butter of the average LOS...all in the name of mammon.
Wolves in sheeps clothing.
You said: "We didn't show the plan 10x per month or sponsor 2 per month every month; so I can't say we "did the work", but we gave it our best shot."
Can the amount of work you did be defined by the results you got? My wife and I did a ton of work, including prospecting every day. I showed plans in about 8 states. How much work do you have to do with no results before it counts as work?
If you say you gave it your best shot and you did everything you could according to what you were taught by upline, you should give yourself credit for having done the work, regardless of the results you showed for it.
Not every pitch results in a sale - especially when your prospects have figured out what's being sold is not for them.
PW
My boyfriend just joined Quixtar and seems to think it is a good idea. How do I convince him it is NOT (I have done my research and think it is a cult). He has already travelled to one meeting in the US (we are Canadian), with all expenses paid by him of course. I have shared my concerns with him and he is considering getting out but how does he do that without stepping on anyones toes? A co worker at his day job got him involved and he doesn't want to hut his feelings. I would appreciate any and all advice. Thanks.
ME,
All your boy friend has to do is tell his collegue that he decided not to do Quiixtar after all. Either that, or he can stay in and just not get involved. He just needs to stand up for what he wants to do. How much did he end up paying to get started? Is your boyfriend now considered an IBO?
My advise for anyone wanting to get started in Quixtar is to simply be a member for 6 months. Attend no functions, but just try the products that you think are worthwhile. If you still think that they are worth the value, then go for it. If not- adios!
I quit last year after 16 years and its not a easy thing to do.I asked God if he wanted me to do this thing or not?Let me know one way or the other but I needed to know.Someone called me about Bo Short and Dateline and got me interested in why he quit.I did it all by doing research on the internet for about a month.I told no one I was doing it and when I told my wife we were quitting it totally caught her off guard.She was not active in the business but did support me because I thought I was doing the right thing.
There is something seriously disturbing about a "little extra income", even a lot of extra income, breaking marriage vows of through good times and bad, rich or poor, etc...
It's scary that people's minds can be so twisted and cloudy/fogged, that Quixtar would come between the most powerful force on earth, love.
Why should anyone even have to make a choice between staying in and losing your true love?
If your religious, you should believe there are evil foces at work here, trying to break up the most important institution mankind has and was given, the family.
Thank you for kind words everyone!
For the record, I'm strongly opposed to divorce and wouldn't even consider it for something as stupid as my husband believing/following an AQMO.
My question of "how long can I live in Oz?" refers to "how long can I be CORE with him even when I don't 'believe' anymore?"
And still, the answer is, "forever, if need be!" After all, besides being my best friend and one of the greatest men I have ever known, he's only doing exactly what I was doing too! How can I blame him? I'm in agreement with PW - great men (and women!) can fall for this business too. My husband is one of those great men.
And to Me,
Join the forum! There are a few good threads answering your question and it's easier to converse there. The people of this forum are great!
The Word will do that to a person. I too had an epiphany moment five years ago, realizing that nothing in life would identify who I was, than who I was in Christ. Building the business to whatever level is great, so long as one did not lose focus of what really is important.
A friend of mine, who is my mentor and accountability partner at church, shared with me that it is ok to pursue money as long as it didn't come before pursuing God. There are several verses of Scripture to back that up too, as you well know.
I don't miss the business. I don't miss the functions, standing order, book of the month, team meetings, prospecting, CommuniKate or doing 100PV. Ah, remember Amvox? :-)
Maybe with the exception of some of the leaders from the WWDB group and Larry Winters' team, do the other business groups truly put God first? Some may speak they do from stage, but are they living it? I saw that they weren't. There are many other private companies (non-MLM) that do put God first and their businesses are blessed (Chick-fil-A, Tysons, In-n-Out).
I appreciate what the business has taught me though, that going Diamond is not my calling, but to "go into all the world and preach the gospel of Jesus Christ."
Funny how people will criticize World Wide and Quixtar, but yet you will give your heart and soul to some stupid job. I am sorry you feel this way about the business, I worked in both the private and public sector and no one but no one has ever attempted to go out of their way to try and improve my financial future or build me up personally. Yes it is not a perfect business, but it sure beats working for the government or some greedy corporation, as long as you work for someone else chances are you wont make enough money to get your kids out of day care. Freedom is not free don't worry about the cost just pay the price.
Dorothy - trust me (from someone who's "been there, done that") you can do a LOT more damage to the AMOs from the "inside".
Your honor and integrity are showing...LOL!
Deb
Posted by: Deb | March 5, 2005 11:53 PM