« Who Said That? | Main | Wheat Grass And Barley Green »
February 26, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 14
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: I heard that the Artistry
Research Team uses "the same technology to map the skin’s surface
that NASA uses to map the surface of the moon." Is that true and what does
it mean?
Answer: It's absolutely true and it means that the Artistry Research Team is
using some really state-of-the-art gear to map your face.
Q: Wow. That is so exciting. I've always wanted my face
mapped. Sometimes I get confused and a map would really help out. Like one night
I kept trying to shove a tuna sandwich (on rye) in my nose because I was thinking
it was my mouth. A map would have really come in handy that night.
A: Of course it would and Quixtar's Artistry Face Map will help you avoid embarrassing
situations like that. There's even a laminated travel version of the map that
fits snugly in your back pocket.
Q: Awesome! I've already order 30 copies of my personalized
Face Map. But, I was just wondering, how does the Artistry Team make the map?
A: Well, they do it just like NASA mapped the moon!
Q: And how exactly did NASA map the moon?
A: Ah, you want a history lesson. Ok. Well, in 1969 NASA sent three men to the
moon with a Lunar
Rover and they set out to map the moon. They drove all around its dusty
surface drawing elaborate maps of each crater. There are rumors that the map
is really a photocopy of a slice of swiss cheese but I know Neil Armstrong and
he's alergic to dairy.
Q: So... Neil Armstrong is going to map my face?
A: No, silly. The Artistry Research Team has a miniturization machine (patent
pending) that shrinks a team of Artistry cartographers and deploys them onto
the surface of your face to make a detailed map. They even shrink a "lunar
rover" to speed up the process. It's all done while you're sleeping.
Q: That's awesome. Man, Quixtar is soo cool. I love
it!
A: And Quixtar loves you back big guy. Hugs and kisses.
Q: Wasn't this farcical thing supposed to be on Friday?
A: It is!
Q: But this is Saturday, which is not Friday.
A: But it's still Friday in Australia.
Q: No it's not you dork. They're ahead of the U.S.,
not behind. That's why they celebrate New Years the day before the folks in
the U.S. It's Sunday in Australia.
A: Oh. So maybe we did publish on the wrong day after all?
Q: That's what I'm trying to tell you. Where were you
anyway?
A: See, the Help Desk ™ crew was up all night Thursday celebrating Yom
Kippur.
Q: Really. Getting an early start huh?
A: Uh.. ok... we really just forgot. Happy now?
Q: Always
A: Bye.
Comments
My wife was 'certified' on how to use it. It's jsut a box with a couple of black lights in it with a funky viewing space on one side and a covered area on the other for the victim...er client to put their face in for analysis. Cosmotologists use them too, but I thought after looking at it that one can be made for much less than buying one.
Jason,
So what you're telling me is that there really is no scientific or medical proof for what the SAM does? Really, can anyone give me some insight to what the skin analysis machine really does is that is different from anything else similar to it on the market?
What is the scientific proof that a person 'needs' Suppliments?
What is the scientific proof that overpriced Quixtar items provide as 'spiked up' value as competition?
I've been asking that for a while now. Never heard any 'scientific proof'. Still asking. Give me a proof that Nutrilite and Artistary are better than competition.
SAM machine is just a gimmick to sale artistary. Thats' all. Ever had ur skin analuzed? u wash ur face, see dry horrible skin, apply artistary, see ur skin, tada! and u cough up $50 for some thing. Question: Won't ur face look less dry with $2 Vassaline?
Any way, this forum about Artistary is a good read.
http://www.essentialdayspa.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=490
It's women though ;) But don't listen to ur upline. Intellignet stuff there :)
Re need for supplementation - good grief, there's an enormous amount of research into this. One well known meta-study is from JAMA -
http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/287/23/3127.
As for whether Nutrilite is better or not, you'll find that all the studies I have found that show either no health benefits or adverse affects from supplementation are using synthetic vitamins, ie lacking in cofactors. I think you'd agree that eating say an organically grown acerola cherry (very high in vitamin c) is likely to be a healthier alternative to taking synthesis ascorbic acid? Well, you'd be right. And Nutriway's vitamin C supplement is precisely that - organically grown acerola cherries - pretty much the whole plant. The real fruit is best, but given the poor nutritional quality of modern mass produced food, and our poor eating habits, Nutrilite is the next best thing. According to reasearch by Euromonitor, there is no competion. No other company in the world grows, manufactures, and distributes their own organically grown whole food supplements. Compare this to normal mass produced, cheap, synthetic vitamins where the many varied brands are often produced in the same factory. A few years ago in Sydney, Australia, a vitamin factory was shutdown by the government because of health issues. Virtually every brand of supplement available in supermarkets was taken off the shelfs - they were all made in the same factory!
Just for interest sake, you might want to google "Ray Kurzeil" and supplements.
ps I have not a clue about artistry :-)
Oh well, Vitamins ARE necessary. Do I need to take supplements like that of Nutrilite? My Doctor said not really! Eat healthy, no junk food, get enough excercise / sleep and that's it.
http://tinyurl.com/5ofw7
Overdosage of them may kill! point: Consult ur doctor, not an IBO who know as much about supplements as you.
Also, Dietitions.ca says take vitamins via food than supplements.
http://tinyurl.com/6g3dd
Point: Consult your family physician. Unless IBO know more than Canadian organization of Dietitions ;)
To right wing IBOs, Jesus come to my dream last night. He said "Though shalt not take Nutrilite. It Sucks".
Insider,
Thanks for the info. Once again, I am told that something from AmQuix has blown away the competition with their quality when it comes to vitamins, just like the e-spring is so far above every other filtration system. My question is that if all these products are so exceptional, why aren't we seeing EVERYBODY using them? I would think even other merchants and companies would be knocking down Quixtar's doors to get a piece of the action. My doctor had no qualms about my taking herbal supplements--basically didn't endorse or condone. Are their many doctors out there that recommend Nutrilite supplements because they so exceptional?
I also asked my dermatologist what skin care product is the best out on the market today. He said that al the claims that skin care products make today are basically bogus because all the moisturizers are just different concoctions of whipped/processed animal or vegetable fat with fragrance added. To avoid effects of ageing, he recommended sunblock and NO smoking. Put your $$ into a good foundation, but all the other stuff- serums etc., aren't all that different. How your skin holds uyp is in your genes.
Lastly, I can't see how a SAM is believeable. I don't need a lamp to show me sun damage. Sounds like a scare tactic to me.
To right wing IBOs, Jesus come to my dream last night. He said "Though shalt not take Nutrilite. It Sucks".
:-)))))
Imran's on a rooooll...
Insider wrote: "Re need for supplementation - good grief, there's an enormous amount of research into this. One well known meta-study is from JAMA -
http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/287/23/3127."
That link doesn't say anything about supplements except overdosing and folic supplements for pregnant women. The article is about "vitamin deficiency" but not the value of supplements. As Imran pointed out, reputable health organizations recommend getting vitamins from eating real food in a balanced diet high in fruits, vegetables and whole grains.
Speaking of face mapping, how does Q's SAM machine work? What scientific proof does it have, and do dermatologists make use of this as well?
Posted by: inquiringmind AKA IQ | February 27, 2005 1:40 AM