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February 4, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 11
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: I am a new IBO and I want to know, where is
the best place to show the plan?
Answer: Is this a trick question?
Q: No. I'm serious. Should I show it in my living room
or the prospect's living room or at a Starbucks or in a hotel lobby or what?
A: Well, studies have shown that the best place to show the plan is in a Swedish
Sauna. You're both naked, it's hot, your pores open up, you're sweating and
the prospect is much more likely to be receptive to your pitch.
Q: I'm not really into saunas. Any other suggestions?
A: Sure. I once showed the plan to a guy on a camping trip. We were out in the
woods, all alone, naked, sitting by the campfire...
Q: Whoa! Naked? What's up with the naked?
A: What? You don't get naked when you go camping?
Q: Err... no. Thanks anyway. I guess I'll just go with
the prospect's living room.
A: Or, you could go swimming in the lake... late at night... under a full moon...
Q: Let me guess. Skinny dipping?
A: Of course!
Q: Uh.. hello. Am I too old to be in Quixtar? My grandson's
taken me to a couple of meetings and all, and well, I'm usually the oldest one
in the room.
A: Hey, you do what you want to. Do you want to be an IBO?
Q: I don't have BO! Why would you say I did?
A: No, I mean, do you WANT to become an Independant Business Owner?
Q: I'm retired, sonny.. why would I want to own a business?
A: Well, that's what the meetings are supposed to be about, owning your
own business, I mean. Do you want to own your own business?
Q: Hey, are you sure I went to the right meeting? I
mean, I plan on going to another one, especially since I won a couple of gift
certificates at Denny's last time I went.
A: Dennys? How did you win... I'm sorry were you playing a game at these meetings?
Q: You young people don't listen too well. Besides,
you haven't answered my question, do you think I'm too old for Quixtar?
A: Uh.. okay, well, No, you're not too old for Quixtar, I mean, they usually
look for a younger crowd and all. Hey, how do you like the XS?
Q: Sonny, I don't discuss sex with someone young as
you. You ought to be ashamed for asking!
A: Oh.. sorry, sir. Well, have a great day!
Q: I got a problem with them there motivational tapes
ya got.
A: What seems to be the problem?
Q: Well, I ain't motimavated. Listen to about 20-30
every day but I ain't left the front porch in two weeks. Got the motivation
of a paralyzed hound dog.
A: Hmmm... maybe you just don't have the right tapes. Do you have any
by Randy Haugen? Orrin Woodward? Billy Florence? Bo Short?
Q: Course. I got all them. Even bought one of them Boom
Boxes to play my tapes on. Estelle don't like it much but I needs my motimavating.
A: Well sir, I really don't know what the problem could be. They seem
to work for everyone else.
Q: Dang blastit. Howm I gonna do that Quixtar biz if
I ain't motimavated?
A: Well, do you talk to your upline? Go to meetings? Seminars?
Q: Hell no. The nearest meeting is in Springfield which
is a good half-day drive in Ma's pickup. My upline is damn fool. I just need
to get some good tapes. You got any real humdingers? Ones that is guaranteed
to motimavate me?
A: Well sir. I'm not really supposed to tell you about this but since you really
seem like a good guy, I'll let you in on a little secret. Here at Quixtar we've
developed a top secret Uber Tape that is the result of extensive research. It's
got the most motivational elements of the best tapes and combines them in a
potent (and patented) audio formula that is so motivational, a helmet must be
worn when listening to it. It's code named "The X Tape."
Q: Well send it on down boy!
A: Ok sir. It's on the way. Good luck and "Flush that stinkin' JOB!"
Comments
promote the tools too.
Is this the X Tape?
http://www.funpic.hu/swf/numanuma.html
Iman, thank you for the cool link. I spent an hour or two looking up different versions of this song, and found different videos.
This is so funny. Again.......thanks. :-)
Cliff Phillips - Aka IBuyOnly
Did I misspelled my name :o well I was an IBO, thanks for understanding.
And that video was posted by Ty of MLM Blog.
http://mlmblog.typepad.com/blog/2005/01/xs_energy_drink.html
That naked story gives a whole new meaning to Showing The Plan.
PW
Posted by: PW | February 4, 2005 7:36 PM