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January 14, 2005
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 8
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: I heard Quixtar's building a state-of-the-art basketball arena in downtown Grand Rapids to try to attract an NBA team?
Answer: Yeah, that'd be kinda weird. What would they call the team? The Soaps?
Q: Funny. I don't think they're at the naming phase
yet but some suggestions have been the Grand Rapids T.E.A.M., Definitely Not
Amway, Ball Flushers and Players Powered By Quixtar.
A: Would the team have sponsors and Diamonds and stuff?
Q: I doubt it but it would be funny if the team mirrored
the Quixtar business.
A: Yeah, half the team would quit each year and only a couple of players would
make any money while the rest of the team had to pay the coach for their training
and coaching.
Q: Well, it's just a rumor. I called the company to
find out about it but nobody seemed to know what thell I was talking about and
I was told to ask my upline.
A: Sounds about right.
Q: What happened to that really annoying guy who made
up all kinds of crazy rumors to get attention?
A: You mean Geraldo?
Q: No. The guy with that stupid Web site.
A: Matt Drudge? You lost me dude. No idea what happened to your mystery guy.
Q: Oh geez. He was named after a soda or something.
C'mon, you remember.
A: Mr. Pibb? Dr. Pepper? Dr. Brown?
Q: I don't know. But hey, why are so many sodas called
Doctor something? Why tie a soft drink with the medical profession?
A: Good question. And why no Mrs. or Ms. drinks? Something's wrong in DrinkTown.
Q: Do you know the way to San Jose?
A: No.
Q: Don't you want somebody to love?
A: No.
Q: She blinded me with silence.
A: You don't say? It's science, not silence.
Q: Are you sure?
A: Yes. I know my Thomas Dolby.
Q: Didn't he invent surround sound?
A: Uh, yeah chucklehead. He invented surround sound and that noise reduction
thing on old tape players.
Q: Speaking of tapes... I got this old Joe Land tape
I'm trying to unload. You want it? I'll give you a deal.
A: No.
Comments
Q, your help desk DOES know it was Ray [Dolby], right? The other actually had an injuction leveled against him when he first used the stage name Thomas Dolby - right when Dolby NR made it big.
Hey PW,
Was his first name Poon?
I think the soda guy was named after an orange drink of some sort.
Mr. Tang?
PW
Posted by: PW | January 14, 2005 9:23 AM