« Imran Saves Forum! | Main | Merry Christmas »

December 24, 2004

QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 7

By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk

Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!

Question: Is Santa real?
Answer: Yeah. Of course he's real. What? You don't believe in Santa?

Q: I don't know, having some doubts. Like how does he deliver all those presents in one night.
A: Well, he uses FedEx of course.

Q: Really? What about the reindeer and sleigh?
A: Yeah. Well, he uses those too but FedEx helps him streamline the process.

Q: But how does he know what every kid wants and why do some kids not get everything they want and what about those poor kids?
A: Ok. You know what? You win. Santa's a fraud. A big fat, red fraud. It's all a big lie. Everything. The sleigh, reindeer, naughty list, the whole deal. It's all a big scam perpetuated by corporate America to fuel the consumerism plague that afflicts our nation. You happy now?!? Huh? Oh, and the Easter Bunny. Fake too. Hey... what are you doing? Stop crying now kid. Uh, it's not so bad. C'mon. I'm sorry. I just lost it there. I was just kidding, see. And look, at least Quixtar ain't a fraud. I mean that's something right? Here's a candy cane.

Comments (2) TrackBack (0)

Comments  

The USPS delivers thousands upon thousands of letters to Santa every year. And seeing as it's illegal to misdirect the mail, there MUST be a Santa.

I know it's true. I saw it in a movie.

(And btw, I never said that Trekkers need to get a life. Bill Shatner was just kidding. He said so.)


Merry Christmas.


PW

Posted by: PW | December 24, 2004 11:26 PM

On the 3rd question just replace the crying child with an IBO and replace the facts about Santa and the Easter Bunny with those about Quixtar and you have the same crying in adult clothes!!

Posted by: Lisa | December 30, 2004 1:14 PM





Post a comment

Comment notes: Some html is allowed (b, p, strong, em, ul, li, blockquote). Email addresses are not displayed. Avoid using profanity. Some comments may automatically end up in a “pending queue,” so be patient.

Vigorous discussion and opposing viewpoints are welcome, but please keep comments *on-topic* and *civil*. Comments containing flames, trolls, or personal attacks are discouraged and may be deleted. If you don't know what this means, please choose not to participate. Thanks.



Subscribe to this entry?