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November 24, 2004
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 3
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
However, since Thanksgiving is this Thursday and the QBlog will be taking a holiday break this Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ will publish today... a Wednesday... not a Friday.
Question: Yeah, I'm an IBO and I want to help out in
this Quixtar Web Initiative thing. What I gotta do?
Answer: Well, first you need a blog. Do you have a blog?
Q: Nah. Don't care much for them blogs. But I gotta
get one of dem eh? Ok, then what?
A: Well, then you must give your blog a really long and redundant name like
"Quixtar IBO Blog About Independent Business Owners Product Review
Blog of Triple Commander Diamond Man: Real Quixtar IBO News Info Site Powered
by Quixtar Dreams."
Q: That long huh? Well, if the Big Guy says so, I guess
it's the right thing to do. Yeah. Alright, so now what?
A: Start posting about how your upline cured cancer, paid off the national debt
and rescued the little girl who was trapped in the well. Be sure to pour it
on thick and sweet, the thicker the better.
Q: Got it. Sounds easy enough. That it?
A: Well, be sure to work the word "Quixtar" into every single post.
Even if you're sharing a favorite recipe, figure out a way to mention Quixtar
with a link back to the Quixtar home page or some other IBO blog.
Q: I heard Quixtar's going to start selling Porn. Any
truth to that?
A: That's just plain crazy talk. Where'd you hear something like that?
Q: My best friend Larry, he works in the porn industry
and heard that Quixtar's been doing some very quiet market research and they
think they can quickly dominate the MLM porn industry.
A: Dude, there is no MLM porn industry.
Q: ...Yet. No MLM porn industry yet baby. Think about
it.
A: No. I don't want to think about it. That's just... just disgusting.
Quixtar porn. Ack.
Q: It would give a whole new meaning to the phrase "edify
your upline."
A: Stop. Leave now please. Get going. Sheesh.
Q: My upline wants me to sign this BSMAA. What do you
think?
A: It's up to you. Be sure you've read it and understand what it's all about.
Maybe have a lawyer look at it first.
Q: Right. That makes sense. Ok thanks.
A: Oh, and well, be sure you read the fine print.
Q: Yeah. Of course. That's a given.
A: No. I mean the FINE print.
Q: Huh? Um I was planning to read... can you explain.
I'm totally confused.
A: Look, some kids were playing around a couple of weeks ago and put the BSMAA
under a microscope. Nobody knows why they did this but they're kids, go figure.
Anyway, one of the kids discovered some microscopic print at the very bottom
of the BSMAA that is... well... a bit troubling.
Q:
Troubling? Like how?
A: Well, read it for yourself. The graphic to the right is a magnification of
the BSMAA
(pdf). The fine print is barely visible but if you look at an even
larger version, the troubling message is clear.
Q: Wow. That's scary
A: Yes. Yes it is.
Comments
This is the sort of sample Q P0rn will give to their distributors.
http://tinyurl.com/4cd9g
Bad joke. Sorry.
Wow, gives a whole new dimension to the terms:
'One-On-One'
'Nuts & Bolts'
'Standing Order'
or when they tell the prospect to 'bring their wife' as the 'wife is your secret weapon'
'Staying Plugged In'
'Being CORE'
'Stroke your downline and watch them grow'
My wife and I were just laughing about this. She had some of these come to her as we were running with the concept.
Cliff :P
Where do I sign up for the Q p0rn??? Sounds like a good deal- I wonder how much the PV/BV is. I wonder what kind of "tools" would be in the QP0RN kit :-$.
Posted by: Michael | November 24, 2004 8:10 AM