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November 12, 2004
QBlog's Farcical Help Desk - 1
By QBlog in Farcical Help Desk
Every Friday, the QBlog Farcical Help Desk™ answers the Quixtar questions that nobody dared to ask. Additionally, each Help Desk answer is guaranteed to end with some form of punctuation or we'll refund your money. No fooling!
Question: I was in Barnes & Noble last night and
I think some guy tried to recruit me into Quixtar. What should I do?
Answer: Next time, try curling up in the fetal position and moaning loudly.
That usually gets rid of them and makes the Barnes & Noble employees chuckle.
Q: No, seriously. I gave him my name and number and
he's trying to get me to go to some GlobalWide Fantasy Constructors meeting.
What should I tell him?
A: Do you want to go?
Q: Well no, of course I don't want to go.
A: Gee. I don't know. Why don't you just tell him something like — "I
don't want to go!"
Q: Hmmmm. That just might work. Thanks QBlog Farcical
Help Desk™.
A: Don't mention it.
Q: I've got this itchy rash on my...
A: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down there partner. This is a help desk, not a doctor's
office. Take that rash somewhere else.
Q: But see, it's spreading here and when I lift up my
shirt you can see how it's turning green.
A: Hey. Speaken de English? No rashes. Get your nasty rash to the doctor.
Q: But I need help and this is a help desk right?
A: *Sigh* Yes but not for that kind of help. Security. Little help here.
Q: Ok, ok. I'm going.
A: Good. Now scoot.
Q: So how's this help desk thing going?
A: Not so good I'm afraid.
Q: Gee. That's too bad. But it looked so easy and funny
when Moltz
did it. What happened?
A: Well, for starters I'm no John
Moltz. And secondly, the subject of Quixtar is a little more difficult to
lampoon than Apple Computers.
Q: Really? Why's that?
A: I think it's because everyone is so serious about Quixtar and there's
the fear that something satirical will be misunderstood.
Q: I see. That is a pickle now isn't it?
A: Yeah but I'm sure part of it is just finding that groove. Rome wasn't built
in a day and let's face it, Quixtar is RIPE for lampooning. If there's any MLM
that deserves a good satirical kick in the pants it's the Big Q.
Q: True enough. Good luck to you then and hope next
week's installment isn't such a stinker.
A: Thanks. I think it will work out.
Comments
Hey,
I like the guy that was afraid to tell the Quixtar IBO NO! That’s the real issue here is that people are afraid to talk to other people. Like the cartoon you added, the child has a very bad problem talking to actual people. He lives his life very afraid of people and isn't able to say no to anyone.
That’s just like this site, most of the people that are going through anger about what they want to say was a Quixtar problem, is truly just their own inadequacy to do business in the first place. Many techies were hoping in the late 90's that you would be able to do business with just a computer. However, computers don't make purchases, only people do. And that really made them angry, enter Quixtar.
I can see that there would be a fire burning deep inside of you to post this site because you want to do something about your fear and get a sense of accomplishment, yet you don't want to have to talk face to face with people because you wouldn't have the guts to defend yourself.
So you post this site.
Wow, thanks for that in depth analysis Sigmund. Be careful, dont hurt your head, I'm willing to bet smoke is rolling out of your ears after thinking that up.
For the record. I've never once told anyone to NOT get into Quixtar. But of course, the facts don't matter do they?
And that fire is more like an itchy rash... that's sort of turning green... here, wanna see?
Real Big:
I'll gladly meet you for a nice face-to-face chat. I'll call you and your ilk "slimy, no-good bastards" right to your face.
Just tell me when and where......
There is a huge irony here, and that is that you said a great deal of your happiness comes from the results of this site.
People are only coming to this site because there are people in the world with the guts to communicate and discuss business with others face to face. People in Quixtar do 100% of your advertising.
You get you happiness from the people that put effort into Quixtar, and yet you say nobody should be involved.
You see if people listened to you, nobody would be involved with Quixtar and you happiness would be taken away
So should people listen to you or not?
Posted by: The Real Big Q | November 12, 2004 6:15 PM