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September 14, 2003
The Trouble With Quixtar: 1
By QBlog in
Because blogs are inherently conversational and generally informal I thought it might be fun for me to take a few days to work out some of my issues with Quixtar right here, in this public space. Some posts may not make a lot of sense on their own but I hope that as a collection these posts will all tie together to accurately describe what I call "The Trouble With Quixtar."
To keep things organized I'm titling each related entry The Trouble With Quixtar and then numbering them sequentially. Also, please understand that this is a personal effort for me to fully comprehend why I am unable to embrace Quixtar, or any MLM business. This is my personal struggle with Quixtar.
I live in an area where panhandlers are abundant. Ever since I can remember I've frequently been approached by a variety of panhandlers. There's the needy mother with her stroller full of babies. Or the despondent father with a broken down vehicle. Or, my favorite, the guy in front of the liquor store who just wants to get drunk. I've been asked for money or favors by all these people and many, many more over the course of my adult life. And over time I've reacted very differently to different panhandling situations.
However, one theme is consistent with almost all my panhandling experiences: I refuse to be intimidated. That may be taken out of context so let me explain with an example.
I've pulled into a gas station and am pumping my gas. I'm daydreaming while the gas flows into my tank and suddenly a man walks up to me and mutters something about money. I don't know him and he doesn't know me. He isn't asking for directions or how I keep my car so clean, he's asking me to give him $2 to buy a sandwich. He's an uninvited stranger who has broken my comfort zone and is trying to increase my discomfort by exploiting a desire to help my fellow man. He's hoping that I'll give him a couple of bucks to just get him to go away. Or, if that doesn't work, that I'll make up some story about how I don't have any cash so that he can quickly move on to his next mark.
Yet, I refuse to choose either option. Instead I've created a third. Yes, I'm still refining this third and I'll admit that I've occasionally descended into uncharacteristically cruel behavior but my intention is to turn the tables on this panhandler. He's counting on my discomfort but he's sadly misjudged me. I show no discomfort and instead engage him to make HIM uncomfortable. I start asking him probing questions about his situation. Why don't you have any money? Where do you live? What is your name? Why don't you go to the mission? How many times a week do you come here to beg for cash? Etc. I usually do this in a loud voice so that anyone around me begins to look in our direction and wonder what is happening between me and the panhandler.
His discomfort becomes immediately evident. He just wants to leave. He knows I'm not going to give him money... yet he is hoping that I will so he continues to hang around. I quickly explain that I won't give him any money and smile as I tell him that he should really work on his story and come up with something better for next time. I give him a few good natured examples of sob stories that he could use on his next mark. By now I've caused quite a scene. He's visibly embarrassed. Where he would normally walk to the next pump and ask for cash, this time he slinks away very quickly to find another, friendlier location to panhandle.
Now, many say that I'm being cruel. Maybe I am. I just view it differently than most people. I see it like this. That panhandler, by walking up and asking me for money, has taken something from me. He's caught me off guard in a way. It's a beggars surprise attack. He's hoping to throw me out of my comfort zone and use that leverage to elicit funds from me. He's already taken my time and now he wants my money and offering nothing in return. So, I've decided to take something from him in return. I take his comfort and his time. Now we're even. Transaction complete.
I should point out that a panhandler is not the same as homeless person. Some homeless do panhandle but not all. And not all panhandlers are homeless. I have a special place in my heart for the homeless and those that understand the system and live within that system have my compassion. I know a few homeless people and they have their own problems but they do not panhandle. In fact, they've admonished me in the past for giving any money to panhandlers. I just felt that it was important to make that distinction. My heart goes out to the homeless... but not the panhandlers.
Comments
And you can't spell embarrass.
One question... how many homeless people do you know? How many can you name their first and last name? How many have you spent time with? How many do you communicate with on a regular basis? How many do you consider friends?
That's what I thought.
You people commenting are so sad. That man asking for money will ride his moped down to ABC and buy a fifth of vodka with the $30 me made in an hour, $2 at a time. They are not afraid or ashamed to ask for money, they are beggars, a "profession" of sorts. Jesus himself was poor, from a poor family, he did not walk around and ask tax collectors for money. I, myself am a Christian, but you are throwing Jesus into your comment to guilt trip this man into giving some "homeless" man some cash. Instead, offer to buy him a sandwich, and I promise, he will refuse the offer.
Online Kasino - http://online--kasino.blogspot.com/
Cry about your "comfort zone?" Regardless of his reason, he was hungry enough to embarass himself by asking you for money... What did you have to lose, your "comfort zone" -- you sound like a little, spoiled, selfish prick... Would your mother be proud of how you embarassed a beggar? What if that was Jesus testing you? Change your attitude, help your fellow man, and quit worrying about your little "comfort zone" you whiner...You have completely overanalyzed the beggar/donor dynamics.
Posted by: boytek | May 20, 2004 10:29 PM