iQuestion: The new Apple interviewing technique on display (Dec. 12, 2002)
John Moltz is the editor of the wildly popular Crazy Apple Rumors Site (CARS). This award-winning site has been featured in Macworld magazine, selected as Net Culture Site of the Week and featured on Shawn King's radio show "Your Mac Life." Among the cadre of Apple Rumor sites CARS stands out from the rest mainly because CARS "is dedicated to the fabrication of Apple rumors that defy verifiability, grammatical convention or any basis in reality." That and the fact that the site is just so damn fun to read.
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webraw: How do you keep the Web raw?

John Moltz: I don't cook it.

THE PERSONAL QUESTIONS
wb.rw: Where did you grow up and how did your childhood experience affect your current position in life?

JM: I grew up in a Connecticut suburb about an hour outside of New York City. I watched a lot of television and spent a lot of time developing a rich fantasy life. And this is the result. Kids, let this be a warning to you.

wb.rw: How old are you now and where do you currently reside and is there an Apple store near you?

JM: I just turned 38.
Wait, that can't be right... Oh, yeah, yeah, it is. Says right here - 1964. Ugh.

I live in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and I'm thrilled that an Apple Store is coming to Bellevue. If you look at the map on Apple's retail site, the Northwest is conspicuously void of any red dots, so I think it's been a long time coming.

wb.rw: Why do you do what you do?

JM: Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I've been asked that in a woeful tone of disappointment...

If you mean the web site, well, I'm always writing humor. In email, letters, code comment lines (really!), Post-It notes... Certainly not all of it's good, but I finally decided to share some of it. If people like it they can read it and if they don't they don't have to. I'm determined to maintain total creative control over the site (which may not seem like much when you look at the site...). If I ever get tired of doing it, it'll just go away.

wb.rw: Has the fame and wild success gone to your head?

JM: Truthfully, there is occasionally a tendency to forget for a second that you just write a dorky humor site about a computer platform with a 5% market share. It's not exactly the New York Times. But those moments are few and I usually get past them by jabbing a pencil into the meat of my hand, between the thumb and forefinger.

wb.rw: What methods do you use to deal with the groupies?

JM: I employ a large PR staff and a full detail of security personnel. Tear gas and water cannons simply must be part of the equation when there's an unruly mob outside my house demanding a lock of my hair.

I refuse to let my security use rubber bullets, though. You've got to remember that these people are your fans and they mean well.

wb.rw: What movie, book or music has made the biggest impact on your life and the direction it has taken?

JM: Probably the Lord of The Rings. I can't quantify the impact it's had on my life, but if you were heavily into over-analyzing you could say that it's influenced me to root for the little guy who goes up against overwhelming odds, which is kind of like Apple. I'm also really into elf porn.

wb.rw: Do you really own a Newton?

JM: I own two. Although, they've been in the basement for a couple of years now. I don't know what they do down there but every once in a while I hear some banging around and some music playing. I think they have parties.

wb.rw: What modern individual has had the greatest impact on technology today and why?

JM: Bill Gates. I don't think much of it's been a good impact, although I don't think it's all been bad, either. Like it or not, Microsoft is the 800 pound gorilla and they set the rules in the technology industry, particularly now that the Bush administration has effectively abdicated it's responsibility to protect us against Microsoft's monopoly power.

wb.rw: Give us a brief list of your regular Web reads. In other words what sites are most often in your browser history?

JM: http://www.thismodernworld.com - Tom Tomorrow's political comic and weblog
http://www.siliconvalley.com/mld/siliconvalley/business/columnists/dan_ gillmor/ejournal/ - Dan Gillmor's weblog
http://www.boingboing.net - Cory Doctorow's collection of wonderful things on the web
http://www.getyourwaron.com - Post 9-11 satire so biting it leaves teeth marks.

THE APPLE QUESTIONS
wb.rw: Are you getting tired of the little gray lines and glowing suppository buttons of the OS X GUI? Why or why not?

JM: You know I think I mostly don't notice them anymore. When I first got OS X I thought I hated the lines and liked the, uh, suppositories (well, who doesn't like suppositories, right?), but now I think the lines provide texture without being gray and the buttons are attractive but often distracting. Maybe some day I'll love the lines and hate the buttons. At any rate I love the translucency of OS X. I was working in Terminal in my programming class and some of the other students (Windows users all) were amazed by how cool it looked.

wb.rw: When did you get your first Apple and what impression did it leave with you?

JM: I bought an SE in 1990 and was instantly hooked. I was up every night into the wee hours of the morning playing games and digging through the System Folder. In a fit of nostalgia, I bought an SE on eBay a few months back so I could play those old games again.

wb.rw: What new products/software from One Infinite Loop do you most look forward to?

JM: Well, as a Newton owner, I'd like to see something that makes use of Apple's handwriting recognition software. Sure, it's in Jaguar, but there's no totally cool way to make use of it. I hope they make use of it.

Mostly, I want Macs that compete with the speed available on the PC.

wb.rw: What Apple products/software do you currently despise? Which ones do you love the most?

JM: I don't know if there are any that I despise, but AppleWorks needs some help. If ever there was an OS 9 holdover that is woefully in need of an update, it's this relic. It's an anachronism in a landscape increasingly populated by slick, metallic i-apps and silky smooth Cocoa apps. I use it, but what they need is a Cocoa application along the lines of ThinkFree or OpenOffice.

I love my iPod and the way it integrates with iTunes, and I loved my 400 MHz PowerBook so much, I just got a 1 GHz model with a SuperDrive.
Glaaaaaahhhhhh...

wb.rw: If you could spend a day with Steve Jobs what would you do?

JM: 10 rounds of no-holds-barred Thai kickboxing. C'mon, Jobs! You and me, baby! Let's go! You're goin' down, mercurial boy!

wb.rw: Weigh in on the Switch campaign. Do you think they are really a great thing or turning into an Apple version of the Dell Dude?

JM: It is so not the Dell Dude. Sure, some of them are related to or know someone in the Apple inner circle, but these people are still real. They're being themselves. While I doubt it's going to attract a huge number of PC users to the platform, you've gotta think there will be some kids out there who'll say "You know, Tony Hawk rawks my sawks. If he likes it, maybe I should look into this 'Mac' thing I've been hearing about."

wb.rw: What are your thoughts on the whole .Mac experience and are you a paying member? If so what features do you actually use and plan to continue to use?

JM: I am a paying member. I think it's worth the introductory half price I paid, although I'm reserving judgment on whether or not I'll pay the full price next year. I use email and host my personal web site on my iDisk. I've had some bad results with the beta of iSync, but I'm looking forward to the final release.

THE CARS QUESTIONS
wb.rw: How important is it for CARS to be standards compliant and support the Web standards movement?

JM: It's definitely important and I do what I can, which includes switching publishing systems to one that's more compliant. When you're a proponent of a platform with a 5% market share, you've got to be a standards proponent. That's the only way you can hope to survive.

wb.rw: How do you feel about Web standards and do you think we’ll ever see the day where one site design will render the same in every modern browser without multiple browser hacks?

JM: Um, no. Not as long as we have the desktop and we have different operating systems and different application vendors. And Microsoft. As long as there's Microsoft, they can do pretty much whatever they want, standards be damned.

wb.rw: What are some of the obstacles, struggles or challenges of publishing an independent site like CARS?

JM: Well, you have to understand that I went into this with the lowest possible expectations. My real goal was to create an outlet that would allow me to write every day and I've been able to accomplish that. Having been in the "independent site" business for a year now, though, I have no idea how anyone makes a living off of it. Certainly three or four years ago when people were paying ridiculous amounts for advertising on web sites, no problem. But the only models that I can imagine really working now are the hobbyist, the non-profit, or the loss leader (sites that are really selling something else, like a personality or another line of business).

wb.rw: The ubiquitous dot com question is “Have you turned a profit?” Well, have you?

JM: Define "profit". If you don't include my time, the site has marginally turned a profit. If you include my time, nooooooooo...

wb.rw: Besides CARS what else occupies your time? What is your Job?

JM: After finding myself working for a great company that paid me fabulously to attend meetings and listen to complaints about things I had no power to change, I decided to quit. Now I'm going back to school for a third degree (this time in Computer Science) while contracting back to the company doing some fun technology stuff. I'm much happier.

wb.rw: Have you gotten any hate mail from Apple “iBrotha” types who may not quite comprehend the CARS concept? Any hate mail from Gates wannabes?

JM: Boy, you jinxed me! In a whole year I only had one email, which was from someone who I think misunderstood a story. Then, just the other day, someone decided it was important that I know that the site wasn't funny at all and that I really should write more like this other site. So, not much hate mail, although I've read a few unfavorable comments on message boards. But, then, who hasn't had unfavorable comments made about them on a message board?

wb.rw: What type of traffic does CARS generate on a daily, weekly or monthly basis?

JM: CARS gets about 80,000 hits a month. I have absolutely no idea how that compares to other sites in the Mac web world, but it certainly exceeds my expectations.

wb.rw: You’ve mentioned a CARS redesign, what can we expect? Please reassure us that you aren’t going to OS X it like nearly every other Mac site on the Web unless it’s a clever design parody.

JM: No, no OS X-ing. I like the parody idea but that's way to much work! Mostly it's going to be less khaki-colored. There will be some foreign language content and I'm looking to include some more graphic content in the future. The single biggest thing I've been asked for is staff photos, so those will be added. Most importantly to me, I'm switching publishing systems. I have to keep this site cheap because I don't make squat off of it, but I wanted something more robust, so I'm switching to Moveable Type.

wb.rw: What content changes, additions, modifications or other goodies (if any) can we expect from CARS in the future?

JM: I'd like to do some more video. Long time readers might remember the iPad video (my Newton 2100 with a piece of masking tape over the name that said "iPad" in black magic marker). I'd like to do more of that. Plus, full frontal nudity, of course. That's a given.

wb.rw: There are tons of Apple Rumor sites. In your mind what differentiates CARS from the rest?

JM: Uh, we admit that we're just making crap up? Yeah, I think I'd have to go with that.

wb.rw: What's the deal with the Giant Squid?

JM: Giant Squid? What Giant Squi- OH, MY GOD, THERE'S A GIANT SQUID IN HERE! AAAAAAAAGHHHH! OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HELP ME! IT'S PULLING ME INTO IT'S RAZOR-SHARP MANDIBLES! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

wb.rw: Any advice for aspiring Apple Rumor site publishers?

JM: Don't. Please don't.

wb.rw: Is CARS hiring?

JM: Well, we do have several positions open in the cafeteria. We're looking for a sushi chef and a sommelier.

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